I tried a new gym the other day and saw Ron DeSantis on the bench press. I went up and asked if he was a member, and after staring at my crotch for a solid thirty seconds, he said, “Yeah, I pump. I pump hard. See my lats and delts and pecs? T…
Opponents of a Republican assault on the Disney Company, the largest employer in the Sunshine State, warn the legislation is grooming children to pay higher taxes. “Florida Republicans got mad at Disney, and took revenge because the mouse roared i…
TALLAHASSEE — Dec. 9, 2022 — Thousands of Florida voters who died from Covid-19 were lifelong Republicans who consistently voted in primaries and general elections before the novel Coronavirus killed them and therefore were entitled to have their pos…
ALLIGATOR NUTS, Florida – (Satire News) – The high-ranking Republican party powers-that-be are having fits at the thought that two very staunch red states could flip over and become blue (Democratic) states. Life long GOPer Percy Oniontree, 43, sa…
KEY WEST, Florida – (Satire News) – In a move that has drawn criticism and ire from millions of overweight people throughout America, the Sleek & Slender Gym located in Key West, has just implemented a new policy. A spokesperson for the S&…
TAMPA BAY, Florida - (Satire News) - In a breaking story, Boom Boom News reporter Hacienda Fiddle is reporting that Tom Brady, who just recently retired from the NFL after 22 seasons is contemplating throwing his 'helmet' into the ring and running fo…
TALLAHASSEE, Florida – (Satire News) – The Florida state legislature has just passed Resolution Bill #17-4169 SI, which states that it is now strictly forbidden for a couple to engage in sexual intercourse in the back of a vehicle, namely a car, a tr…
TALLAHASSEE, Florida – (Satire News) – The Plywood State of Florida has just announced that there are now more nude beaches in the state than in all of the other 49 states together. A spokesperson for the state stated that the weather along with t…
WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – Seven of the nine members of the United States Supreme Court have issued the Plywood State of Florida a very stern warning. The highest court in the land, after reviewing over 373,000 documents, reports, and memo…
WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – A White House insider, who wishes to remain anonymous, has just let it leak, that POTUS called a meeting of his closest, most trusted advisors about the situation in Florida. The insider told Pico de Gallo, with…
MIAMI – (Satire News) – The Federal Hurricane Agency (FHA) has just informed the public that hurricane season ended on the 30th of November, but a rogue hurricane has just been spotted by the Hurricane Hunters. Hurricane Repunsel’s co-ordinates ar…
Tallahassee, Florida - Florida Governor Ron DeSantis today signed a new law creating a private military force that will operate under his rule. “This law creates the Florida Freedom Fighters,” said DeSantis. “I alone will direct this elite fightin…
MIAMI – (Satire News) – Many weather-related topics were recently discussed at the annual meeting of The American Meteorological Guild (AMG). One topic that was discussed concerns the island town of Key West, Florida. As everyone knows Key West ju…
TALLAHASSEE, Florida – (Satire News) – Like Confucius said back in 525 BC, “If one acts like a prick, then sooner-than-later he’ll end up with his dick in the dirt." True dat, as our British cousins say. And there is really no better example of a…
WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – The Department of Health and Well-Being has just stated that they are sick and tired of Florida Governor Ron “The Circus Clown” DeSantis acting like a cheap, bargain-basement version of Don “The Con” Trump. Velve…
TALLAHASSEE, Florida – (Satire News) – Die-hard Trump follower and super ass-kisser Ron DeSantis, sticks his GOP foot in his GOP mouth at least half a dozen times each and every day. A few days ago, he said that he wants to deport most of the Cuba…
It’s more than a case of denial or ignorance, Florida's Governor Ron DeSantis must know better (unless he’s a certified moron), but he has his eye on the White House. He seems to think that by agreeing with Donald Trump’s message of the Lysol and Clo…
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