Heaven, From Pearly Gate No. 5. Woof Bluster with a SINful report for Spoof Interplanetary News. The situation on Oro Street worsened this week as tents and sleeping bags of the homeless spread over several blocks between the fifth Pearly Gate and St. Peter's office six blocks uptown. Despite complaints from small businesses located along Oro St., authorities have taken no action to clear the rabble off the sidewalks.
:If they want to camp out, let them have Milky Way, not Oro St.," said one irate business woman from the front of her Pot Shoppe. "You sell pots in Heaven?" a curious Bluster asked. "No, I sell pot!" she replied, "and these filthy free spirits are ruining my business."
Bluster asked one of the tent campers why they wouldn't accept the sheltered housing offered by St. Peter. "We reject government-supplied housing no matter who is offering it. Peter ought to be ashamed that he's part of this effort to get us off the streets." That tent camper was wearing a Trump tee-shirt.
When asked the cause of this unprecedented housing crisis, St. Peter replied that they hadn't counted on the massive death toll from the pandemic on Earth, "We haven't had anything like this since World War II. Fortunately, that time half the dead were atheists who went to Hell instead of coming here."