Atlantic City, New Jersey. Woof Bluster reporting with a SINful report for Spoof International News. Word has reached the HQ for the Miss America Pageant that a contestant in the pageant 70 years ago has upheld her Miss America contract by refusing to move in, unmarried, with a long-time friend and former elementary school classmate.
The Miss American contestant, who shall remained unidentified to protect her innocence, was propositioned by the same Spoof writer who a month ago was dumped a second time by the same girl who had dumped him six decades earlier. See "Spoof Writer, 90, dumped twice by same girl 65 years apart."
While initially agreeing to share the Spoofer's home, her lawyers called attention to a contract clause that prohibits contestants from engaging in situations that imitate marriage. Sharing a home with a male companion would clearly violate the rule. Such a violation would prevent her from being crowned Miss America for 1950 should the actual Miss America belatedly engage in any activity that would remove her crown.
Although her eight children had given their consent, with the sole warning of "Don't get pregnant," and the Spoofer's six kids had likewise agreed, the domestic relationship is now in serious question. She had already arranged for several organ transplants to make procreation possible, and he had placed an irrevocable order for those little yellow and blue pills, to be delivered discreetly packaged to his rear door. At 91? Well, if Clint Eastwood can do it,why not a Spoofer?
The two have agreed to continue their constant stream of email - neither can text, zoom or do anything electronic that wasn't there in the 20th century. Both are disappointed that it didn't work out since they hadn't seen each other since 1947.