Brian Asshat, Chutney on The Fritz's most famous bachelor, has told the three people on his Twitter feed that he has recorded fifteen episodes of Bargain Hunt and plans to spend the day watching them.
'I have gone for some old classics with Tim Wonnacott and a few newer ones with Christina Trevanion. My heart can't take the risk of watching too many with her, but I will risk it.'
Mr Asshat believes he now knows the ending to most episodes now.
'There will be the ones who have £100 profit, and lose it all on the bonus buy, the couple who make £20.00 on the bonus buy, and go onto win. There will be the scruffy students, the old married couples, and the two sisters who clearly don't get along, but just wanted to be on the telly.'
Brian says his life is a never-ending whirl of excitement.
'I can tell you that for nothing, my fine fellows,' he says smugly.