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Brexit Means Breakdown

Funny story: Brexit Means Breakdown

Following the Salzburg summit rebuffal and being handed her ass on Instagram by the EU President, Theresa May came back fighting this week in the typical British way - with a strongly worded statement. After she was left looking like a wally, much...

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Thoughts from The Right

Theresa May has frozen talks with the EU over Brexit as EU leaders have again put obstacles in the way of her finest hour. European fat cats have once again stopped Theresa from “cherry picking” which EU principles she wants the UK to be involved wit...

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Avoid Hard Border By Bringing It Inland says Rees-Mog

Funny story: Avoid Hard Border By Bringing It Inland says Rees-Mog

With Brexit now only six months away and the Irish border question still unresolved, the Jacob Rees-Mog mob have came up with a cunning plan to address it. The minister for the 18th Century is leading an absolutely vital think tank called The Eu...

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Confessions of a Brexit Voter

Funny story: Confessions of a Brexit Voter

At the time I knew what I wanted. It was 23rd June 2016 and I was in the polling booth. There it was in black and white before me "Should the United Kingdom remain a member of the European Union or leave the European Union?" I wanted what Nigel and Boris had told me: I wanted to escape the shackles of the undemocratic EU, even though we have a vote on everything in the European parliament.

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Little Chef Boss Sees Brexit Dividend from No Deal Chaos

Funny story: Little Chef Boss Sees Brexit Dividend from No Deal Chaos

Little Chef chairman, ardent Brexiteer, Conservative party donor, tax exile and fast food entrepreneur, Sir Tom Arto-Ketchup spoke out today about his hopes for a Brexit Dividend as a result of a no deal Brexit and Operation Stack bringing the roads...

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Danny Dyer Appointed as Brexit Secretary

Funny story: Danny Dyer Appointed as Brexit Secretary

"Prime Minister" Theresa May surprised both Brexiteer and Remainer members of her party today when she appointed EastEnders on-screen hard man Danny Dyer as Secretary of State for Exiting the European Union following the resignation of the previous s...

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Brexit Latest: FA Premier League 2018-19 Season to End Early

Funny story: Brexit Latest: FA Premier League 2018-19 Season to End Early

FA blazers announced today that the 2018-19 Premier League season would be cut short and would end on 29th March 2019 when the United Kingdom leaves the European Union. This is the result of those football fans who voted en masse to leave the Euro...

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Wetherspoon to Stop Selling Champagne and Prosecco

Funny story: Wetherspoon to Stop Selling Champagne and Prosecco

"Frankly, we don't give a toss" was the reaction of France's Champagne industry to the Wetherspoon announcement that the fusty old gits chain of pubs would cease selling Champagne and Prosecco. Shortly after his recent shock announcement that he w...

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Space Threats Rain Down on Post-Brexit UK

The UK’s defence secretary has declared that we must be “ready to counter threats from space”. He made the announcement after watching Starship Troopers and posting a live Vlog of him standing on ants. The UK has proved itself incapable of dealing...

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Daily Mail Fury as new sterling contract goes to Poland when Queen abdicates

Funny story: Daily Mail Fury as new sterling contract goes to Poland when Queen abdicates

A secret cabinet office memorandum has been obtained by political editor Paxton Quigley, which admits that under European Union procurement rules the contract for printing new sterling banknotes will be awarded to the Polish national bank. Paxton...

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Boris: "Brexit will be a success if only everyone who opposes it would shut up"

Funny story: Boris: "Brexit will be a success if only everyone who opposes it would shut up"

Minister for Malapropism and head clown Boris Johnson made a controversial speech today, in which he claimed that the success or failure of Brexit had nothing to do with his government's negotiations with the EU. Instead, he said, it rested entirely...

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The UK in 2050, post-Brexit

Funny story: The UK in 2050, post-Brexit

Berlin, 2050. My name is Herman Boring, German ambassador to the Britons. I recently returned from a mission to that remote island, and I was shocked at what I found. It was my task to try to re-establish contact with the people there after many years of self-imposed isolation. I had expected to see six-toed mutants and incestuous half-breeds living in a backward post-apocalyptic civilization,...

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UK minister says the hardest part of Brexit negotiations is "not mentioning the war"

Funny story: UK minister says the hardest part of Brexit negotiations is "not mentioning the war"

David Davis, the Brexit minister, has given a frank and open interview to journalist Frank Open, and revealed some details about the process of extricating the UK from the EU. "It's very difficult," said Davis. "Barnier [chief negotiator for the E...

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Boris Johnson's speech to the EU in full

Funny story: Boris Johnson's speech to the EU in full

Today in Brussels, Boris Johnson made a long-awaited speech to the EU, setting out the terms of Brexit as he sees them. Here is the full unabridged text of his speech. "Good afterlunch, my fellow Euro-chumps and bureaucratinators. It has been eigh...

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Britain's post-Brexit EU role confirmed to be that of "annoying friend"

Funny story: Britain's post-Brexit EU role confirmed to be that of "annoying friend"

Britain is leaving the EU, but that doesn't mean for a minute that it is going to disappear. It is going to hang around the EU and hover over their conversations like a ghost. Prime Minister Theresa May has admitted as much when she said that she wou...

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EU is "what Hitler would have wanted"

Funny story: EU is "what Hitler would have wanted"

A group of EU leaders - the President of the European Commission, the Head of the European Council, and the Grand Poo-bah of Brussels - have released a statement in which they admit that Brexiters have been right all along and that the EU is just a p...

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The Dutch are doing a "Br-eggs-it"!

Funny story: The Dutch are doing a "Br-eggs-it"!

There are some people in Holland who are so desperate to leave the EU, Wilders, etc, and follow the UK into a dark, unknown abyss, they are willing to poison their own people and other European citizens! In fact, they have even adopted the infamou...

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May invokes Dunkirk as UK leaves Europe once again

Funny story: May invokes Dunkirk as UK leaves Europe once again

In 1940, thousands of soldiers were evacuated from war-torn France in what has now become known simply as "Dunkirk". Brits recognise the town more for its famous exodus than for anything else. With the recent release of a film on the subject, it is a...

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Breaking news…

Putin Hacked The Emmys

NBC, ABC, and CBS all claim that Russian President Putin hacked the Emmy Award computers, to explain how unknown, barely-viewed shows on Netflix and HBO could win so many awards.
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