Boris Trump has blasted off on his campaign to be Prime Minister with a 'joke' that The Spoof refused to publish.
But Boris has not finished - he is planning the takeover of Britain by Trumpism. No more of the climate change nonsense, just good old nasty politics to win the hearts and souls of the British people.
"I learnt it on the playing fields of Eton," Boris confided to newshound, Joe Wonder.
"Attack, whatever your situation. If you have a poor case, shout loud."
Bravely, Joe asked what sort of country Boris thought he would create by using these tactics.
"We will put the Great back into Britain," he declared.
"Great at what?" asked Joe .
"Everything. Anything. We will unite with the United States in a new world order. As a liberal Conservative, I will bring back liberal values. Leave the market alone!"
Asked if he thought he would win, he declared that "Britain deserves better, and I will be better than anyone else. I was always taught that. I'm the King of the Castle."