Eurotrash Returns To Screens In Bid To Reverse Brexit Vote
In what is being seen as a last-ditch attempt to usurp democracy, and deny the voting public its victory at the polls, the government has ordered TV reruns of the 1990s show 'Eurotrash', in a bid to change people's minds about Europe. Hosted by th...Read full story
Many Fail To Turn Back Clocks At 2AM - Thousands Arrested!
Police have made thousands of arrests after people illegally turned their clocks back by one hour last night instead of waiting to do so at the now legally required time of 2am. Police were out in force across the UK last night making spot checks...Read full story
Man Wearing Lederhosen Discovered On Beach
Police and immigration officials were called to a beach in Norfolk this morning, when a man was discovered only half-conscious, and wearing only a pair of lederhosen. He was soaking wet. The location for this momentous event was the seaside villag...Read full story
British Carrots Grown in Spain found on a Tesco shelf!
(NOT EDITED) With a majestic trade deal organised by the one and only mega hypocrite, Boris Johnson, of course, kicking in from January 2021, supermarkets have been gearing up their efforts to convince Brexiteers that only British products are accept…Read full story
EU Plans Assault on Autoerotic Asphyxia, Plans Ban on Plastic Bags in UK; Practitioners Flee to Thailand to Hang Around!
In a sweeping plan to ban plastic bags which have left Brits Breathless, the European Union is taking the first step to shut down deviate sex practices which they say affect the Health & Safety of the British Public. Plastic bags , since inven...Read full story
Nigel Farage believes the Earth is flat
Having wallowed in the gutter end of UK politics for three decades, Nigel Farage has always been an extreme character. Now he has embraced his lunacy in full, and has publicly admitted to being a Flat Earth believer. "It's obvious," said the torto...Read full story
The average Italian has no clue
29 percent of all Italians above the age of 16 have no clue, the highest score within the EU, a German research has concluded. The European average of people who have no clue is 14 percent. The Italian man and women are respectively 22% and 36% cl...Read full story
PIIGS?? Eurozone states face GIPSI evictions
Brussels - EU runt states of Portugal, Ireland, Italy, Greece and Spain have demanded an immediate makeover of their tarnished porcine image. Threatened with default sanctions by their First Brussels Gravy Train Bank masters the PIIGS group said t...Read full story
China asks if some of its population can stand in Europe to comply with social distancing rules
The Beijing government has politely requested EU leaders if some of its population can stand in Europe to obey social distancing rules. Social distancing rules require people to keep a distance of at least 2 metres away from one another, to avoid the...Read full story
Italy sells the Vatican to bail itself out of debt
Rome - Bishop Guido Sarduchee held a press conference today announcing that the Vatican has been taken over by the Italian government. The relics of Christendom are now available on Ebray, the online action house. The Pope himself is up for ren...Read full story
At Last - A Credible Euro Strategy!
After casting around in vain for over a year in search of an economically literate plan to save the Eurozone which could command the confidence of the financial markets EU President Herman van Rompuy announced today that the Council of Ministers had...Read full story
European Union Develops a Police Academy for Proper Etiquette.
The EU Council is holding a ministerial meeting to investigate a national system of policing to protect the freedoms, safety, and property of EU citizens living in member countries. The EU is recommending a national police academy to properly trai...Read full story
Ordinary Man Displaced from Home by Travelers Seeks Solace in Drink!
A man, a quite ordinary man, a natural born citizen of Britain, and a hard working man indeed by all accounts, was finally driven to drink today after a run in with the National Tourist Board that threatened him with an ASBO and incarceration after...Read full story
Boris takes bread and circuses to Brussels
"Panem et circenses", shouted the MP for Uxbridge and South Ruislip, Johnson. "Persuasion by games. That's what people want! And that's what they'll jolly well get...!" It appeared the PM was losing it when he placed a large box on the table in fr...Read full story
Convert the Euro into a Candy Bar, Says EU Debt Panel
Brussels - A committee of Europe's leading economists, bankers and nutritionists have developed a simple solution to end the European debt crisis. They propose converting the Euro from a currency into a candy bar. "Currently, we are printing euros...Read full story
Theresa May Confesses "I Have Submitted a Letter of No Confidence in the PM's Leadership"
So-called Prime Minister, Theresa May, admitted today that she has had enough, and has consequently submitted her own letter of no confidence in her leadership to Sir Graham Brady, chair of the 1922 Committee of backbench Conservatives. Mrs May will...Read full story
Stocks Surge on World's Clean Slate
NEW YORK, New York - U.S. and European stocks advanced as world leaders decided on Monday to cancel all world debts to start economies over with a clean slate. The concept of countries cancelling their world debt has been popular among those who s...Read full story
Bald-Headed Mad-Englishman shaves his head in Germany!
(NOT EDITED) In an unprecedented show of solidarity to the EU, a Mad Dog of an Englishman, residing in Germany, decided to remove all signs of UK nationality from his body and wardrobe! Ten pairs of Union Jack printed underpants, swimming trunks a…Read full story
Canada Wants to Join the European Union
Ottawa, Canada Canadian officials today confirmed that they are reaching out to the European Union in an effort to join. "We think there is probably a big vacancy in the EU what with Brexit and all, aye!" spoke a Canadian official. "Aye, and w...Read full story