Not again! Holy fuck, Europe, will you please stop! The world got sucked into two of your major wars, plus a few smaller hellish nightmares … when we you people move? You’re becoming neighbors who won’t turn down your radios after ten o’clock – m…
The EU celebrated unanimity in their latest bid to punish Russia for invading Ukraine. Russian tourists will have to pay a surcharge of 1 euro each when visiting EU beaches. The EU had wanted to ban Russian tourists completely but Turkish President E…
Germany got rid of all its leftover World War Two tanks and aircraft - "that is all we could spare - we don't want Putin mad at us", a spokesman said. The Germans threw in 10 truckloads of Bratwurst, out of guilt. France sent a tanker loaded…
The people of Northern Ireland have been stuffed again. From the end of June there will be a ban on British sausages being imported there. Thanks to Boris Johnson's Northern Ireland protocol, there is now a customs borders down the Irish Sea separ…
(NOT EDITED) As a result of a certain referendum, which has caused economic chaos in the UK, EU cheese producers have decided to 'twist the knife into the wound' even further by boycotting Nr 10 Downing Street. Very cheesy PM, Boris Johnson, a hug…
(NOT EDITED) English lobsters caught in EU waters are now being returned to the UK and, instead of being directly boiled alive in French or German cooking pots, are now rotting in chilled trailers stuck in traffic jams waiting for customs clearance!…
Britain - but not Northern Ireland - left the EU at the end of 2020, and importing and exporting has not been the same since. Geoff Turnip is an importer/exporter from Bishop's Prepuce who exports beef, and imports strudel. "Bringing in the strude…
(NOT EDITED) In an unprecedented show of solidarity to the EU, a Mad Dog of an Englishman, residing in Germany, decided to remove all signs of UK nationality from his body and wardrobe! Ten pairs of Union Jack printed underpants, swimming trunks a…
After years of negotiation, the UK finally agreed post-Brexit trade arrangements with the EU this week. Prime Minister Boris Johnson boasted that he had secured the best possible deal. He said, "We have successfully negotiated access to the Europe…
(NOT EDITED) With a majestic trade deal organised by the one and only mega hypocrite, Boris Johnson, of course, kicking in from January 2021, supermarkets have been gearing up their efforts to convince Brexiteers that only British products are accept…
British Prime Minister Boris Johnson is at the centre of an assault claim this morning, after he alleged that various European leaders 'ganged-up' on him after the end of the latest Brussels summit, and took turns to kick him up the bottom. Johnso…
"We will be forever grateful to Nigel Farage and that one meeting he attended while sitting on the EU's fisheries committee for eight years. If he hadn't been on our side we would have been sold down the river. He fully deserves his £75,000 pa EU pen…
That model of integrity and honour, paragon of virtue, Boris Johnson, has expressed amazement at the EU's reaction to him wishing to renege on the withdrawal agreement he signed in January. "What a kerfuffle," began the Prime Minister, forcing EU…
Celebrity cookstress Delia Smith might not be the most likely candidate to put people straight about the political issues of the day, but she's been speaking on the subject of Britain's exit from the European Union this week, and she might just make…
A man who is no stranger to living in 'foreign parts' is mulling over his future this evening, after reading about just how easy it would be to relocate to the European paradise of Greece. Once the world centre of art, culture, and philosophical t...
The Beijing government has politely requested EU leaders if some of its population can stand in Europe to obey social distancing rules. Social distancing rules require people to keep a distance of at least 2 metres away from one another, to avoid the...
Severe weather warnings across Europe have been issued, after high winds were spotted spiralling across the English Channel towards the continent. A weather watcher on the cliffs of Dover said he was able to make out a giant face in the swirling air,...
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