NEW YORK CITY – (Satire News) – After countless members of Congress have called for the governor of New York to resign, Governor Cuomo has said that he has no plans to effen resign. He pointed out that Trump allegedly boinked 82 adult females, all…
Breaking news just hitting us in the face like we wished that train had done last night, damn that passing woman and her wish to help those in need! EX-UKIP and current Tory bottom-feeder, George Eustice, has today resigned from government. “Who e...
Citing his unbelievable success at everything he has ever attempted, Donald Trump resigned from the office of president of the United States. I have achieved all I have set out to accomplish in record time. My ratings were greater than any other...
The CEO of the underworld released a short statement this morning: I hereby announce my resignation, not because I've done anything wrong, mind you, but because my work here is done. My bucket list for the world is complete. They say it's best...
Mr. Mohd Aidil Harith has resigned from Bank Pembangunan Malaysia Berhad's (BPMB) System Auditor with immediate effect. Aidil has been with the Bank for the past 5 years since May 2013 and has changed BPMB's IT landscape. Aidil is a Certified Info...
Senior Utah Republican Senator Orrin Hatch spoke to NBC News correspondent Frank Thorp Wednesday, saying he would prefer for FBI confirmed domestic abusing White House Staff Secretary Rob Porter not to resign, but instead to just “work his way throug...
Bo, The White House Dog has announced that he will be Resigning effective at the end of April. It's another in a string of resignations to come from the Obama Administration and was not totally unexpected. Bo,a Portuguese water dog was at the cen...
HOLLYWOOD - Miley Cyrus has stated that FOX News reporter Megyn Kelly needs to grow a pair and apologize to the American people for making her ignorant remark about jolly old St. Nick being white. The former Hannah Montana star told Hollywood Innu...
NEW YORK - Following a series of verbal blunders, Terry Snogawd has resigned his post as chancellor of the First Atheist Not-church of America amid growing protest from a large number of the group's members. "Look, not one of us has been complete...
VATICAN - The Catholic world is shocked as word has just filtered out of the Vatican that Pope Benedict XVI is quitting. The pontiff is the first to step down since the middle ages, or as stand up comedian Zydeco Dupree said, back when Betty White...
Following the announcement that Pope Benedict the XVI will step down on the 28th of February Bono the lead singer of the band U2 has said that he would like to be the next Bishop of Rome. Popes are elected by a conclave of cardinals under the age...
WASHINGTON - U.S. President Barack Obama announced Monday morning that he is resigning from the presidency effective immediately and moving to the United Kingdom. According to a White House press release, Obama has lost all hope for the country a...
Tory MP Gerald McFisty of Chipping Sodbury resigned today following his public humiliation after being caught in an intimate pose at the weekend. A hotel worker opened the door to his room to find him naked except for women's underwear, a gimp ma...
Gaffe Prone CEO Garry Cook finally ends his own torture as his resignation is accepted by a reluctant Manchester City Board. Although City have certainly upped their game on the field in recent years, much has been made of the problems off the fi...
After days of mounting pressure, Rebekah Brooks has resigned as chief executive of the venal, pus-filled, cancerous appendage for which she had been responsible. Sounding tearful and full of remorse, she said at a press conference 'I have enjoyed...
Scots Tories' leader Annabel Goldie has become the third party leader to resign in the wake of the SNP's comprehensive election win last week. Goldie joined Labour's Iain Gray and the Lib Dems' Tavish Scott in announcing her resignation following...
Manager of Stalybridge Celtic, Jim Harvey, admitted his shock when he discovered that the entire team had resigned. "I was told by a text message," Harvey said in a press conference at the club's Bower Fold ground. "Chairman Rob Gorski sent it."...
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