NEW YORK CITY - (Satire News) - Everyone agrees that there is no one in the history of the civilized world who has uttered more lies than the former resident of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue in Washington D.C., Donald Johnny Trump.
The latest number according to the Tallahassee tabulating firm of Numbers ‘R’ Us is 31,903 (and counting).
Tittle Tattle Tonight’s Pico de Gallo has compiled a list of ten of the most outlandish lies.
• He has climbed Mt. Kilimanjaro at least six times.
• He’s written over 10 Top Ten pop songs.
• Back in 2004, he dated the three eldest Kardashian sisters in one week.
• In 2017, he beat up boxer Mike Tyson at a McDonalds in the Bronx.
• He caressed Queen Elizabeth’s ass on Valentine’s Day in 1976.
• He ate 9 Big Macs in a single visit to a McDonalds in Detroit in 2013.
• He convinced Hope Hicks to get a bikini line tattoo with his initials (DJT).
• He donated $4 million to the NFL’s Black Lives Matter Program.
• Since 2002, he has made a total of 9 holes-in-one.
• He coined the phrase “Damn! Will you look at the ass on that bitch.”
SIDENOTE: Pico de Gallo would like to thank Vice-President Kamala Harris and Hope Hicks for graciously taking the time to help him compile this list.
