Trump’s Hair Stylist Says That DJT Told Him That He Regrets Not Having Appointed Himself King

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Tuesday, 6 July 2021

image for Trump’s Hair Stylist Says That DJT Told Him That He Regrets Not Having Appointed Himself King
Trump has strongly denied over a dozen times that he and his long-time hairstylist "FiFi" Flambeau have never been intimate.

NEW YORK CITY – (Satire News) – Donald Trump’s long-time hairstylist Francois "FiFi" Flambeau, recently appeared on The Ellen DeGeneres Show, and revealed that the former resident of 1600 Pennsylvania, confided to him that he really and truly regrets that he did not appoint himself to be the nation’s very first king.

Flambeau, who describes himself as a cross between RuPaul, Rand Paul, and Paul Shamatitti, pointed out that Trump is actually 100% bald.

He said that the Trumptard made him sign an NDA (Non-Disclosure Agreement) that he would never reveal that his head is as bald as a chicken egg.

Ellen laughed so hard, she had to go to a commercial because as the audience and the TV viewers clearly saw, Ellen peed in her pants.

After returning from a commercial, she said that she was now wearing a pair of Depends Super Strength Plastic Panties.

Francois, giggled, as he divulged that he has been wearing the same exact brand for 6 years.

DeGeneres asked him about the rumors that his client (DJT) had been intimate with Maria Bartiromo, Hope Hicks, and Marjorie Taylor Greene.

Flambeau, rolled his eyes, and he whispered to Ellen that in the bedroom department, Trump is about as much of a romantic lover as garden mulch is sushi.

He revealed that he heard from a former White House maid, that sexually-neglected Melania has a box full of sex toys, including the latest state-of-the-art vibrator, the California Earthquake XXX-81 Wiggle Wonder.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more