Pope Francis was caught yesterday afternoon by a gaggle of his best nuns using a crucifix-shaped vibrating dildo … but no one will say where on his body, and they have been sworn to secrecy. As the Pope stuttered out a reply, someone said that he…
EAGLE PASS, Texas - (Satire News) - United States Custom Agents report finding cocaine stuffed in a shipment of vibrators. US agent Mills R. Sunfax said that the coke was found in 200 vibrators that were in an 18-wheeler truck that was bound for M…
NEW YORK CITY – (Satire News) – Donald Trump’s long-time hairstylist Francois "FiFi" Flambeau, recently appeared on The Ellen DeGeneres Show, and revealed that the former resident of 1600 Pennsylvania, confided to him that he really and truly regrets…
ELEANOR RIGBY, Rhode Island – (Satire News) – Millions of people have found ways of coping with the Coronapalooza directives to self-isolate, shelter-in-place, and self-distance. Many folks are self-isolating and learning how to cook Ethiopian fo…
HOLLYWOOD – (Satire News) – Kim Kardashian is furious at the rumors that appeared in Hollywood Innuendo, stating that, lately, she has been using the services of a vibrator. Kardashian, who has been separated from her loser husband, Kanye West, fo…
Gary, a man's man, a man of the world, or so it seemed, has committed a faux pas worthy of a ‘Carry On’ film. Gary had been asked for marital guidance by his mate, Bernard, as Bernard’s wife had got a rabbit. ‘I asked where she kept it, as they li…
After 30 years of maritial bliss a couple in Dunfermline, Scotland, decided to spice up their lives by buying a vibrator for the wife because the man was entering his hit and miss phase and she too. They ordered the huge thing over the internet wi...
New York - A mixed squad of undercover and uniformed police has broken up "a sex ring" that was attempting to distribute "vibrating devices" in "broad daylight" at locations in Rockefeller Center and the Meatpacking District. The disrupted giveawa...
TOPEKA, Kansas - Lady Gaga had come to visit the largest covered wagon museum in the United States. The museum which is run by the group known as The Descendants of The Wayward Pioneers houses a total of 53 authentic covered wagons, many with auth...
"I thought I was going to die", stated one lady as part of a collective lawsuit. "Of course, it was great for awhile but suddenly I was jerking like Joe Cocker singing "Cry Me A River!" "I heard Edith in the darkened bedroom while I was watching t...
In an effort to increase sales among its female customers, Apple Inc. has introduced the new Apple iPhone Classic Touch Vibrator (CTV). In addition to all the usual iPhone features, the CTV also comes in 3 vibrating speeds for female enjoyment. Pr...
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