QUEENS, New York – (Satire News) – A spokeswoman for the GOP has made it abundantly clear that the report put out by Wikileaks regarding terrorist group members within their ranks is totally, absolutely, and positively false; or as they say in Fort Worth, it's bullshit.
Republican spokeswoman Bettina May Crackfit, 87, who recently had a uvula transplant, said that she and her boyfriend of 39 years, Byron P. Trixx, 66, personally went over all 874,303 GOP charter member names and nowhere on the list did they see any names that could possibly be names of terrorists such as Abu, Shake, Bin, Abdalli, Mushuni, or Carl.
Crackfit, is such a hard-core Republican that back in 1962, she had the initials GOP tattooed on her right breast.
She jokingly told her boyfriend Byron, a few months ago that she now regrets it because the letters are now 7-inches long.
Byron added that Bettina May's elongated tits are now actually situated below her bikini line.
She giggles as she remarks, "Yeah but you sure do love playing with 'em don't cha peckerwood?"