PALM BEACH, Florida – (Satire News) – Trump’s personal doctor informed him that he needed to lose 75 pounds.
Well the Trumptard must have not heard Dr. Yang Fu Fi, or else he simply chose to ignore him, because the orange bozo GAINED 75 pounds, and he now tips, literally tips, the scales at 300 unadulterated blubberized pounds.
Melania commented that he rolled over on her at 3 am the other night, and she thought she was going to have to call 911 for help to get the lying blob of humanity the hell off of her.
She said she finally managed to wake him up and get him off of her by yelling that the Grub Hub driver, with his order of 4 Big Macs, had arrived.
One of Trump’s children who did not want her name used, told Don Lemon that not only does it take him 7 hours to shoot 18 holes of golf, but he also has a tendency of not being anywhere near accurate on his scorekeeping.
The ex-White House middle-aged Barbie doll said that whatever score her daddy actually shoots, he will deduct anywhere from 19 to 37 points.
SIDENOTE: Ivanka said that one day last week he actually shot a 107, but on his scorecard he wrote down 63.