Donald Trump’s Great, Great, Grandfather Cyrus Earl Drumpf Owned 371 Slaves

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Tuesday, 22 June 2021

image for Donald Trump’s Great, Great, Grandfather Cyrus Earl Drumpf Owned 371 Slaves
This is a photo of Cyrus Earl Drumpf who had as many derogatory nicknames as his great, great, grandson Donald Johnny.

WHITE HOOD, Mississippi – Researchers have researched Donald Trump’s family tree and they have come up with a crooked-as-heck tree that had dozens and dozens of interesting branches.

It was learned that DJT’s great, great, grandfather Cyrus Earl Drumpf (before they changed the surname to Trump) lived on an 8,701 acre cotton plantation, during the Civil War.

“Grand Pappy” Drumpf, also grew sorghum, sweet potatoes, and Ramen.

“C.Y.” was the founder of the Mississippi Delta Chapter of the KKK and his wife Alberta Matilda Cackleberry-Drumpf served as the sergeant-at-arms.

It was widely known that “Al-Matty,” who stood 6-foot-5 and weighed 295, could beat up everyone in the county except for her husband Cyrus Earl and Cyrus Earl’s twin-sisters Beulah Belle and Belle Beulah who looked like friggin WWE wrestlers (male ones not female ones).

All the slaves called Cyrus Earl, “Masser” but when he wasn’t around they all called him “That low-down, mothereffen, scum-suckin’, lying orange-looking piece of skunk droppings.”

Needless to say Donald Trump’s great, great grandfather was about as popular with the Blacks back then as Melania's "Dip Shit" husband is with the Blacks of today.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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