BROOKLYN – (Satire News) – The head of an infamous Brooklyn crime family, Salvatore Goombalini, has just announced that he has chosen his younger brother Garbanzo Goombalini, to run against Marjorie Taylor Greene, who he calls one of the meanest, nastiest, ugliest-looking skanks in the entire country; and you can throw in Canada as well.
The Brooklyn crime boss learned about a special little known provision, that was enacted on September 17, 1959, that gives his brother a legal right to run in the Georgia election.
Sal Goombalini has hired the services of famed Left Coast attorneys Gloria Allred and her extremely attractive-looking daughter Ginger Allred, who managed to find the little known provisionary election clause.
Salvatore and all of his 9 brothers agree that the mother-daughter legal team makes noted O.J. Simpson and Jeffrey Epstein attorney Alan Dershowitz look like a dumbed-down version of Disney character Goofy.
Meanwhile, the head of the family has picked brothers Pistachio and Giuseppe to be Garbanzo's campaign managers, and brother Pasquale will assume the role of the campaign's chief director of security.
SIDENOTE: Salvatore Goombalini’s attorneys want to stress that all of the 10 Mafioso brothers have vowed that they will not interfere in any way, shape, or form in the election either through threats, intimidation, bullying, or lewd, visual, bodily suggestions.
