HOBART, AUSTRALIA: Port Arthur Gunman Martin Bryant says he is “likely” to stand in the next Victorian election following the recent return to office of fellow gun enthusiast Daniel Andrews. Mr Bryant said that Andrews’ re-election demonstrated that…
It isn’t a banana republic, or a nation in the old Soviet Union, not one in the United Kingdom, Africa or the Middle East, but the democracy of the United States. Uh huh. As the late Colin Powell once said. "The United States may be the youngest…
NASHVILLE – (Satire News) – One of the most popular singers in both the country field and the pop scene is Taylor Swift. The 31-year-old has over 140 million followers on Instagram, 87 million followers on Twitter, 39 million on YouTube, and she…
Canadian Prime Minister, Justin Trudeau (who also goes by the name 'Justine' on Saturday nights), has done what most logical, intelligent, and compassionate world leaders would do, and has called for a Federal election during a global pandemic. Af…
BROOKLYN – (Satire News) – The head of an infamous Brooklyn crime family, Salvatore Goombalini, has just announced that he has chosen his younger brother Garbanzo Goombalini, to run against Marjorie Taylor Greene, who he calls one of the meanest, nas…
The big question: If monkeys take over US elections, will a monkey be elected? Short answer? Yes. Holy hell! The monkeys are coming. Can Canada help the US, or can Mexico? Where’s the Supreme Court? The FBI? Hey, CIA, are you there? Can you d…
(NOT EDITED) A tiny nation in South America, run by banana cartels, has gone to the International Court of Justice in The Hague, demanding the US pay them five billion $ Bucks, or they will sue both candidates for plagiarism! Banana Republics in A…
Florida governor, Ron DeSantis, has announced election day poll workers will all be monkeys. The governor chose monkeys because of their reliability in handing out ballots to registered voters, due to their relatively small hands. Each polling plac…
Donald Trump announced today, with Bitsy Devoss by his side, a plan to create nationwide academies funded by Tik Tok, to teach what he claims to be "correct" American History. "Today, with the help of a Chinese-owned digital giant, we are announci…
On Saturday, musical artist and fashion designer, Kanye West, announced his candidacy for the 2020 US Presidential election. West made his announcement via Twitter. “We must now realize the promise of America by trusting God, unifying our vision...
So now it's official. The people of America are celebrating and dancing in the streets.They've toiled and sweat blood to give him space and time to spread his word. They need him. They love him. Americans have finally succumbed to the soft-spoken sca...
In a wave of optimism sweeping the nation, some Americans report that they may actually bother voting in the 2020 presidential election. "It's too soon to tell, but I may see if I can free up some time in my schedule," said Kate Truman of New York...
DES MOINES, Iowa – An unnamed source is reporting that an unnamed source is alleging that President Trump has had a hand in what many are calling “The Big Iowa Primary Mess From Hell.” An individual who will be simply known as “Simple Simon” says...
Normally it is an occasion associated with excessive consumerism, fat-bellied bearded men giving gifts, and a drunken day off work. But this year, the election will fall at Christmastime, meaning that it will be even more garish and vomit-inducing th...
In his boldest political move to date, President Trump announced he will seek the nomination of the Democrat party for president. According to White House Minister of Truth, Shiv Aalok, President Trump decided to seek the party nomination after watc...
A week into the latest Canadian federal election, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has been outed by a photo showing him dressed as Aladdin, but his face and hands painted in blackface. Ignoring the fact that Aladdin isn't even a black man, or the...
In a reactionary swing toward neoconservativism, satirical "news" outlet The Onion mocked the positivity of Democratic presidential vier Marianne Williamson, revealing that that beneath its chuckle-ready foreskin, The Onion may not be so sweet. "...
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