LOS ANGELES – (Sports Satire) – Hollywood Innuendo is reporting that the entire Los Angeles Lakers cheerleading squad is up in arms over a new tattoo policy that has just been implemented by Lakers management.
Laker girl Tiffany Wrigley, 25, who is the official spokeswoman for the team’s cheerleaders says that the director of Laker’s cheerleading has informed each of the 30 Laker girls, in a certified letter, that effective with the start of the NBA’s next season, if a cheerleader has a tattoo on any part of her body, she will be prohibited from being a Laker cheerleader.
Miss Wrigley pointed out that even the most intimate tattoo will disqualify a woman from cheering for the world champion Los Angeles Lakers.
Lakers cheerleader Peggy Pillacotti, 24, revealed that she herself has a tattoo with the initials Z.Y. on her labia majora, and she stressed that no one but her boyfriend Z.Y. sees it.
Miss Wrigley pointed out that 3-year veteran Laker girl, Sharleen Box, 26, has a tattoo of a pom-pom on her left ovary, and she has been told that if she wants to continue being a cheerleader for the Lakers she will have to have it lasered off.
Miss Box replied that lasering it off is expensive ($800). And she then expressed that it will hurt like a motherf*cker (her word) to have it removed.
When told of Sharleen Box’s situation, a Laker’s vice-president simply said, “Tough titty, said the kitty.”
Meanwhile, the entire Laker’s cheerleading squad has hired the services of famed human rights attorney Gloria Allred, who is charging the cheerleaders a fee of $1.