Police Find 703 Viagra Pills in Ivanka Trump’s Kia Sorento

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Thursday, 10 June 2021

image for Police Find 703 Viagra Pills in Ivanka Trump’s Kia Sorento
Donald whispering to Ivanka that she smells prettier than a Big Mac.

BALTIMORE – (Satire News) – According to Kitty Segovia with the iNews Agency, Ivanka Trump has never felt more embarrassed than she is now after being stopped and frisked by police.

The human, middle aged “Barbie Doll” told her BFF Staniquisha Jefferson-Jackson that she was on her way to the Aphrodite Spa & Bar to get her monthly bikini wax, when police pulled her over for having defective windshield wipers.

When she rolled down the window, Officer Elijah Mozambique said that he suddenly detected the undeniable smell of Viagara.

He searched the car and found over 700 Viagara pills in the trunk, underneath the spare tire.

At that point fellow Officer LeDontell Baboomba asked her to get out of the car, and not to make any sudden moves, or else she would have her lily-white ass tased, like it’s most probably never been tased before.

The two officers then told her to lie on the ground face down.

Ivanka refused saying that if she did she would get street yuckies all over her $17,000 Yves Saint Laurent designer fashion dress.

Officer Baboomba yelled at her to get on the friggin’ ground before he counts to four, or she is going to be hollering and screaming, from being tased like she has never, ever screamed before, not even during sex.

Ivanka started crying and Officer Mozambique yelled at her to stop and he reminded her that there is no crying in traffic stops.

At that point Ivanka finally complied. She was given a ticket and told to pay it within 72 hours, or else they would come looking for her, and it won’t be pretty.

SIDENOTE: When Ivanka's daddy, Donald Johnny Trump found out about her being stopped and frisked, he became extremely furious and remarked that no one frisks his Ivanka but him.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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