Trump sets Ted Cruz's house on fire to wrap up bullying session; Cruz says "it was an honor"

Funny story written by Earthvessel

Friday, 4 June 2021

image for Trump sets Ted Cruz's house on fire to wrap up bullying session; Cruz says "it was an honor"
Ted Cruz said "it was an honor" to be abused by Donald Trump

It may be an understatement to say it was a challenging evening for Senator Ted Cruz as he and wife Heidi opened their home for a visit with the Trumps. Seemed Donald J. was primed for bullying and Cruz had a giant bulls eye on his forehead. Trump and his wife Melania dropped in on the Cruz household early evening, around 6:30 pm yesterday. 

Trump wasted no time setting upon his former rival. When Cruz put his hand out for a shake Trump, with a big smirk, reached over and pinched Cruz's nipple, then twisted hard. The senator was obviously in serious pain but managed a chuckle passing it off as good natured fun. Trump then noted that Mrs Cruz was "still ugly as ever" and suggested that his hosts "say hello to Melania", even though they had greeted her already.

Trump followed that up with a steady flow of slights and insults aimed at Cruz, who seemed very uncomfortable. Cruz made several attempts to steady himself, trying to crack a joke or tell a story, but he was thwarted by Trump every time, who cut him short with a "shut up Ted" or "nobody cares Ted".

One observer noted that aside from a few of Melania's two or three word sentences, "there wasn't a complete sentence uttered all evening".

Cruz eventually became pale and his eyes appeared moist but he seemed determined to go the distance and finish the evening on his feet. Sensing his host on the ropes Trump became more aggressive and cruel as the night wore on.

As the guests prepared to leave Trump punished Cruz with a final barrage of barbs then, getting a little carried away with his success, set a fire in a hall closet before leaving with his wife.

Cruz ran to douse the fire and later told the press "It was an accident -there was no significant damage whatsoever."

Cruz also said "It was an honor to have a visit from a wonderful couple like that! Heidi and I had a great time!"

There was much speculation leading up to the visit, fueled by Cruz himself, that Trump would be asking for Cruz's advice and ultimately his support for 2024. But when asked about this after the visit, Cruz said "No we were off the clock - this wasn't work, we were kicking back and enjoying ourselves!"

Asked if he'd be willing to host the Trumps again, Cruz emphatically declared, "They're welcomed at our place any time!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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