Vanessa Trump snags Secret Service guy to beat on Eric and Don Jr.

Funny story written by Earthvessel

Friday, 28 May 2021

image for Vanessa Trump snags Secret Service guy to beat on Eric and Don Jr.
Trump brothers catch a nasty beating

At first people assumed Vanessa Trump was just looking for a fling with an actual human male. But it soon became apparent she had more on her mind.

Now we know she had a couple of objectives. Number 1 was to get herself a man, and she succeeded. She got herself a big, strapping, deluxe secret service man.

Objective number 2 was to have that man beat the crap out of her ex-husband Donald Trump Jr. and his mentally handicapped brother Eric.

As of yesterday, Vanessa happily reported, mission accomplished.

Her secret service man who has not given his name waited on the lawn just outside the kitchen door off the east wing of the Mar-a-Lago yesterday morning. He knew the Trump brothers routine of running around the back yard after breakfast.

He tripped Don Jr and watched him fall on his face then gave Eric a one-handed smack off the back of his head that sent him sprawling. The agent then proceeded to administer a beating to junior while Eric was able to get back on his feet and managed to wobble back into the house calling for help.

Two minutes later a halfway made up Kimberly Guilfoyle came running and startled the agent and her screams could be heard for miles around. The aggressor, who was sitting on Trump Jr got up and ran off.

Guilfoyle and the Trump brothers are crying foul today and asking for help identifying the "bully". He may prove difficult to track down since his name is not known and it seems Vanessa Trump is not inclined to help her battered ex-husband.

Both boys say they will tell their dad and they seem to think he'll be bothered by what happened to them.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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