CHICKEN CREEK, Kentucky – (Satire News) – The president was in the “Chicken Shit Capital of the World” holding yet another “Maskless Non-Self-Distancing” presidential campaign hate rally.
Chicken Creek produces more chicken droppings than all of the 51 European nations combined.
Trump was asked by a female reporter with the local newspaper, if he was ready for him and Joe Biden to knock each other’s lights out before a live television audience of billions.
POTUS said he was, and noted that Las Vegas oddsmakers have him a 72-1 debate favorite.
He then expressed that he will be sending a set of personal debate rules that he wants the debate moderators to adhere to.
Firstly, he does not want anyone to mention anything at all about his income taxes, which are still under federal audit.
Secondly, he does not want anyone to ask any questions about his intimate relationships with Russian leader Vladimir Putin, North Korean leader Kim Jong-un, or Pisagovian leader Uri Zenpupon.
And thirdly, he is strongly insisting that the moderators (and Joe Biden as well) do not mention Stormy Daniels, Karen McDougal, or any of the other 47 women who he has been rumored to have boinked.
He noted that he will be providing an itemized list of names.
Joe Biden was asked if he had any personal debate rules he wanted to mention to the moderators.
"Blue Collar Joe" simply winked and replied, “Ask me anything, unlike you-know-who, I have nothing to hide.”