HICKORY NUTS, North Carolina – (Satire News) - The president took his Presidential Hate Campaign to the Hickory Nuts Capital of the World.
After spewing his standard 82 lies per speech, he closed by saying that he does not understand why the enemy – the Democrats, cannot accept the fact that he is, without a doubt, the smartest man in the solar system.
He was asked by a reporter with USA Today about his former attorney/fixer Michael Cohen’s claim that he loves to lie more than he loves sex.
Trump started coughing. “Look, loser, I never lie. And, truth be told, in all of my 59 years on this planet, I have never lied, and I am certainly not going to start lying now, at the age of 53.”
Michael Cohen's book is titled, “I Know President Donald Trump Better Than Melania, Marla, Ivana, and Stormy All Put Together”.