NEW YORK CITY – (Satire News) - The queen of MSNBC, Rachel Maddow, has learned from a White House insider that the President’s personal chauffeur has said that he is not going to vote for Trump.
The chauffeur, who asked that his name not be used, stated that, although he has voted Republican since the days of Barry Goldwater, he just cannot bring himself to vote for a man who is addicted to lying, golf, salt, and who calls overweight women 'fatties'.
He also told Maddow that another thing is, that he doesn't like the fact that he is secretly trying to sell California to China.
The chauffeur said that he recently spoke to Melania, and she confided in him, that she visited a voodoo woman in Ponchatoula, Louisiana, and she now has a voodoo doll of her husband with a pin stuck in his orange nose.
When Maddow asked the chauffeur if he wasn’t afraid of getting fired, he laughed and said that, three years ago, he won $17 million in the Maryland state lottery, so it ain’t like he’s gonna have to go on food stamps.