NEW YORK CITY – (Satire News) - The publishers of Michael Cohen’s new tell-all book are as happy as beavers in a lumber yard.
The book is titled “I Know President Donald Trump Better Than Melania, Marla, Ivana, and Stormy All Put Together”.
Pre-sales of the book have already broken book sales records in Switzerland, Slovenia, Vietnam, and La Brea, California.
A source inside the White House revealed that Melania, Karen Pence, and even Barron Trump, have all ordered personal autographed copies.
Lottie Bungalow with the Just Saying News Agency stated that, in Chapter 2, Cohen talks about a very personal tattoo that the President has on his lower back.
Cohen coyly commented that the Initials are V.P., and the letters are written in Russian.
In Chapter 5, Cohen talks about how DJT has used the “N” word at least 13,000 times since being elected.
He pointed out that he used the word about 600 times just when referring to former NFL quarterback Colin Kaepernick.
Miss Bungalow pointed out that Cohen actually has a secret recording he made where Trump is talking to Russian President Vladimir Putin.
In the recording, Putin asks Trump, “Who's your puppet master?” and POTUS replies, “You’re my puppet master, Vlady.”
Meanwhile, the President has just told Sean Hannity that he does not know Michael Cohen, nor does he even know what he looks like.