Man Spent Afternoon Listening To Linton Kwesi Johnson

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Sunday, 20 September 2020

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And blood, bitterness, exploding fire, wailing blood and bleeding

A man who read of a possible change in the way words in the English language are spelt, has told of how he dreamt up another similar scheme after spending yesterday afternoon listening to the Jamaican reggae poet, Linton Kwesi Johnson.

A story on the satirical news website,, recently explained how people often experience difficulty when learning to read, because of the confusing way English words are spelt, and revealed that the ex-Slade frontman, Noddy Holder, has come up with a plan that might make their task easier.

Moys Kenwood, 57, immediately remembered that Johnson also used a similar system of spelling some words 'the way they sound', and hooked up his stereo.

He listened first to 'Reggae Greats', including the tracks 'Independent Intavenshan', 'Di Great Insorekshan', 'Sonny's Lettah', and 'Fite Dem Back', before moving on to 'Doun Di Road', 'It Dread Inna Inglan' and 'Come Wi Goh Dung Deh' from the Poet and the Roots album 'Dread Beat An' Blood'.

Afterwards, Kenwood said he thought Mr. Johnson might be interested in developing his spelling system in the same way that Mr. Holder has, and that he would be sending him an email to ask him about this forthwith.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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