Four-year-old Joshua Atkinson from Mithering on the Trent has been told off for swearing at school and in front of his parents, so he has decided that he will swear for his grandparents this weekend instead. "So, I said '****' at school, and Ms. H…
GALVESTON, Texas - (Sports Spoof) - Sportsapalooza writer Pia Confetti recently stumbled upon an extraordinary high school cheerleader. Meet Paris Boochee, aka "The Rah Rah Girl". At only 17 years old, Paris can cheer on her team, The Nolan Ryan R…
RALEIGH, North Carolina - (Satire News) - It is no secret that a certain group of North Carolina residents (GOPers) do not have even a sliver of a sense of humor. For years, the rest of the nation has commented on how dry the Republican folks of N…
Since Roald Dahl has been put through the politically correct ringer, some other dead children’s book writers are being dragged out of their graves to be given a re-write by people today who are better, stronger, smarter, more sensitive than anyone e…
According to the people at Weckster and Merrymen Dictionary Inc. the name and term 'Trump' have taken on more meanings, definitions and nuances in the American vernacular in the past eight years than any other word in English. It stands amazingly as…
As a word, is “Fuck” a GOAT, or Greatest Of All Time? Is it the greatest word in the English language? To non-native speakers of the language, the following sentence is technically correct, just weird and confusing: “The fucking fucker fucked the…
CONCORD, New Hampshire - (Satire News) - The state senate of New Hampshire has voted to ban the use of the word Vagina. Sen. Lucy DuBrizzi, 76, of Cunt Creek, New Hampshire, said that her constituents, who are all church-going folks cringe wheneve…
Since the Neo-Nazi Supreme Court of the Uber United States has aborted abortion, the word itself MUST BE REMOVED from the new American dictionary. If not, those who write or publish the dictionary could serve several life terms in a Super Max Jail in…
The Supreme Prime President of the World Jibber Jabber And Conversation Analysis (the WJJACA for you initialism fans) has issued a demand to the self-important, entitled people of the world. "Stop using the word 'journey'! You're over-using it an…
DES MOINES, Iowa - (Satire News) - The Iowa Senate has just voted on banning three words that most Iowans consider to be nasty words. Since Iowa, is home to over 700,000 prudish folks, the senate vote on the word(s) ban was 69 for the ban, 27 agai…
CORNBREAD, Iowa - (Satire News) - Channel 88, Eye-Witnesser News interviewed a local pig farmer, who has a very amazing baby pig (piglet). Wesley P. Wineview, 47, told a reporter for Channel 88, that he first noticed that his two-month old piggy "…
Theatre Reviewer Bob Montgomery is still using pretentious words in all of his reviews. ‘Yes’ said Bob ‘I grew up reading Q Magazine, and all of that type of smorgasbord of entertainment, so using my Diamante like the plethora of words and their m…
THE VATICAN - (Satire News) - The Vatican News has just issued a statement that the Pope has just banned the use of the expression, 'Holy Mole.' A spokesperson for the VN stated that Pope Francisco is fed up with hearing cardinals, priests, nuns,…
Sophia, a junior at the University of Verona, had run out of money due to inflation caused by the Punic Wars, and, in desperation, had accepted a lucrative offer from Julius Caesar and his wife Calpurnia, which required Sophia to be a surrogate mothe…
The young first-year philosophy professor faced a common end-of-the-term dilemma in an introductory course: one two-hour session left but four hours of ideas that had not been presented yet. Moreover, he was losing his voice. The raspy sound w…
Travis and his wife enjoyed sitting by the hearth on cold winter evenings, warmed by the burning logs. They especially liked the heat from the embers after the fire itself had extinguished and the hot coals glowed on. The problem was that the glow di…
(Original saying) I think, therefore I am. ( Updated saying) I stink, therefore I am pretty sure I still exist. That which does not kill us makes us stronger. That which does not kill us makes us really careful to avoid it the next time.
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