CORNBREAD, Iowa - (Satire News) - Channel 88, Eye-Witnesser News interviewed a local pig farmer, who has a very amazing baby pig (piglet). Wesley P. Wineview, 47, told a reporter for Channel 88, that he first noticed that his two-month old piggy "…
Theatre Reviewer Bob Montgomery is still using pretentious words in all of his reviews. ‘Yes’ said Bob ‘I grew up reading Q Magazine, and all of that type of smorgasbord of entertainment, so using my Diamante like the plethora of words and their m…
THE VATICAN - (Satire News) - The Vatican News has just issued a statement that the Pope has just banned the use of the expression, 'Holy Mole.' A spokesperson for the VN stated that Pope Francisco is fed up with hearing cardinals, priests, nuns,…
Sophia, a junior at the University of Verona, had run out of money due to inflation caused by the Punic Wars, and, in desperation, had accepted a lucrative offer from Julius Caesar and his wife Calpurnia, which required Sophia to be a surrogate mothe…
The young first-year philosophy professor faced a common end-of-the-term dilemma in an introductory course: one two-hour session left but four hours of ideas that had not been presented yet. Moreover, he was losing his voice. The raspy sound w…
Travis and his wife enjoyed sitting by the hearth on cold winter evenings, warmed by the burning logs. They especially liked the heat from the embers after the fire itself had extinguished and the hot coals glowed on. The problem was that the glow di…
(Original saying) I think, therefore I am. ( Updated saying) I stink, therefore I am pretty sure I still exist. That which does not kill us makes us stronger. That which does not kill us makes us really careful to avoid it the next time.
The Mike Diamond "smell good" plumbers radio commercial in Southern California begins with a call from a potential customer: "Why won't a plumber tell me the cost of unplugging my sewer over the phone?" His answer: "$99." Well, if he could unplug it…
Grandmother Valerie Jones is shocked to say that she used the word sleeps when talking to her grandson Toby. Toby, 4, was talking about what is happening on Wednesday, and when it was when Valerie committed the faux pas of saying it was 'only two…
Sometime a sentence can mean exactly the opposite of what the speaker or writer intended. That's due in part to conflicting meanings that many words have or the way the sentence is phrased. Here are some prime examples: On the last day of the se…
HARRISBURG, Pennsylvania - (Satire News) - The Pennsylvania Senate has voted to outlaw the use of the word “Pussy,” after hundreds of evangelicals, old fogies, sticks-in-the-mud, and old maids demanded the word be banned. One old maid, 79-year-ol…
Following England's footballing defeat at the hands of Italy, a number of politicians and celebrities have jumped in saying that there is absolutely no need to abuse the players. Despite having a track record of saying things that are off-colour,…
Retire the word journey. Please. Everything today is referred to as a journey. It isn’t. Surviving Covid-19 is not a journey. It’s survival. Going to the grocery store to purchase cat food is not a journey, it’s going to the grocery store. A fligh…
The earnest and slightly lunatic young scholars of Brandeis University have published an annotated list of “oppressive” and “offensive” words that will be banned on campus and in all student communications media. This list, the student publication no…
BROOKLYN – (Satire News) – Tittle Tattle Tonight reporter Pico de Gallo recently sat down with Goombalini crime family boss Salvatore Goombalini at a Pompous Pizza Parlor in Brooklyn. The two, who go way back to the days of the infamous Big Apple…
There was a storm in a teacup on an online satirical news website earlier this month, over the spelling of three similarly-sounding words landed one writer in a huge pickle, and an editor having to explain things to him in a schoolteacherly way. T…
A man who read of a possible change in the way words in the English language are spelt, has told of how he dreamt up another similar scheme after spending yesterday afternoon listening to the Jamaican reggae poet, Linton Kwesi Johnson. A story on…
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