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Every word in the English language now deemed offensive by someone

As of yesterday, the word "a" was the final written representation of the English language to be deemed offensive. Snidely McWhiplash, Chairman of the Center for Pain-Free Living, stated that labeling something "a" person or "a" place or thing...

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There Are Far Too Many 'Isms' These Days, Says Man

Funny story: There Are Far Too Many 'Isms' These Days, Says Man

A report out today shows several shifts in the way the public perceives 'isms', the funny little suffixes that are added onto other words to make you sound important. The newest 'ism' on the scene is 'colorism'. This word came up recently when...

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Writing Instructor Has Trouble Completely Barring Students from Using Adverbs

Funny story: Writing Instructor Has Trouble Completely Barring Students from Using Adverbs

In her course emphasizing punchy, to-the-point writing, Crestwood Community College Professor Sandra Finn strongly advises her students to avoid using adverbs, but found she had trouble completely barring them from doing so. “I tried to tell them...

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Florida Banned Term “Climate Change” in 2015; Now Scientists Say Sea Rise Will Ban "Florida" by 2200

Funny story: Florida Banned Term “Climate Change” in 2015; Now Scientists Say Sea Rise Will Ban "Florida" by 2200

Tallahassee - The administration of Republican Rick Scott, while Governor of the state in 2015, succeeded in removing phrases such as "Global Warming" and "Climate Change" from all official communications and documents. Recently, however, there ha...

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Serena Williams Went Way Too Far With Umpire

Funny story: Serena Williams Went Way Too Far With Umpire

Tennis star, Serena Williams, has been adjudged to have 'gone too far" by another tennis star, Roger Federer, over her outrageous behaviour in her recent match against yet another tennis star, this time the sexy up-and-coming Japanese chick, Naomi Os...

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Distasteful Language In Politics 'A Fuckin' 'Mare Mate'

Funny story: Distasteful Language In Politics 'A Fuckin' 'Mare Mate'

Politicians have condemned the use of distasteful language by politicians, after politicians used distasteful language towards a politician. Somehow-still Prime Minister, Theresa May, was the target of the rhetoric before a Brexit meeting with fel...

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Witches Spell On Kavanaugh Proof Of Witch Hunt Says Trump

Funny story: Witches Spell On Kavanaugh Proof Of Witch Hunt Says Trump

Donald Trump has reiterated his use of the term "witch-hunt" after actual witches placed a spell on Supreme Court Judge Brett Kavanaugh. Having had the same thing happen to himself last year, the President appeared even more emboldened than usual...

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Adverbs Heatedly Blast Stephen King for Causing Them to Be Summarily Dismissed by Modern-Day Authors

Funny story: Adverbs Heatedly Blast Stephen King for Causing Them to Be Summarily Dismissed by Modern-Day Authors

Adverbs everywhere have vocally and publicly come out against best-selling author Stephen King, blaming him for their summary dismissal by many modern-day writers. “Thanks to him, we’re being edited out of the game,” lamented adverb Beverly Passio...

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Your Language Lesson of the Week

This week, the difference between 'continuously' and 'continually'. 'Continually' means occuring again and again, as in: "He irritated her continually day after day. She considered a divorce. Was it worth the time and effort to cultivate a relationship that seemed to be doomed to failure? She couldn't decide." 'Continuously' means occuring without a break, as in: "He irritated her continuou...

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German Teens Condemn 'unfair' English Exam in Petition

Funny story: German Teens Condemn 'unfair' English Exam in Petition

Grappling with Brexit in one English exam proved too much for more than 30,000 German school students, who are protesting in an online petition. About 31,000 students sat the English exam in the south-west German state of Baden-Württemberg but the pe...

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Heathen Teens Struggle to Find Appropriate Expressions of Shock and Dismay

Funny story: Heathen Teens Struggle to Find Appropriate Expressions of Shock and Dismay

Heathen teens, like seventeen-year-old Portia Johnson of Nashville, Tennessee, are increasingly struggling to find appropriate expressions of shock and dismay since the standard go-tos, like “Oh my God!” and even “Holy shit!” just don't align with th...

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French speaking Canada bans Welsh Rarebits!

Funny story: French speaking Canada bans Welsh Rarebits!

People residing in French Canadian speaking areas have been told never to use the phrase "Welsh Rarebit" again! It has been removed from all restaurant menus, dictionaries, school books, the internet, Google and anywhere else! The French Canadian...

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Supreme court to hear "Move the N in Wednesday to before the D" argument

Funny story: Supreme court to hear "Move the N in Wednesday to before the D" argument

The seemingly interminable battle to have the letter N in Wednesday move to its more appropriate position before the D will now go to the Supreme Court. this has angered many in Britain's Parliament who have suggested sanctions against the United St...

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Tweason Becomes 2017 Most Popular Word

Funny story: Tweason Becomes 2017 Most Popular Word

Tis the season for tweason. Donald Trump, who has already changed the game in U.S. presidential politics, is now engaging in acts that lead to new words. Trump's latest tweets have coined the new word "tweason", which means the act by a U.S. public figure to disparage America and to embrace a foe by a tweet. Tweason has already become the most popular new word of 2017. Trump's recent...

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No Need for Tenses?

Funny story: No Need for Tenses?

While it is commonly acknowledged by physicists that time is an illusion, people continue to ignore this by using the past tense and the future tense in their speech. One person who acknowledges and promotes this time/space continuum fact is Billy P...

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"You Cluckin' What, Mate?" Aussie Boffins Crack Chicken Chatter

Australian researchers have discovered that chickens are able to communicate in deep and meaningful ways. They have concluded that chickens can effectively talk to each other. Two researchers at City University in New South Wales, studied chickens...

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Kelly Carlin Revises George Carlin's List of Words You Can't Say on TV

Funny story: Kelly Carlin Revises George Carlin's List of Words You Can't Say on TV

DAYTON, OH - George Carlin's only daughter, Kelly Carlin, has updated her father's famous list of the "Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television". The first list that George Carlin made was presented in his 1972 monologue "Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television". The words are: shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker, and tits. Kelly Carlin's revised list includes 42 words yo...

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Act 666, Scene 9/11: FBI cryptonyms reveal hidden agenda

Funny story: Act 666, Scene 9/11: FBI cryptonyms reveal hidden agenda

QM-NewsCorpse stringers have hacked into the Feds' data base and decoded anagram files of leading White House names. The following is a selection of latest codes which the Bureau uses in secret communications. If your name isn't on the list it's because probably you aren't important enough - or have already slipped the Director a fat wedge of greenbacks: Lynch** harlot in mid-oral = Hil...

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