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Funny satire stories about Jamaica

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Obama Declares Martial Law--President Trump Furious

Funny story: Obama Declares Martial Law--President Trump Furious

After the Trump administration floundered in it's first hundred days, former President Obama decided to declare martial law in the US. In response, a livid President Trump tweeted with plans for an invasion of Obama's headquarters in Jamaica. "...

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Snow storm hits the Caribbean Islands

Funny story: Snow storm hits the Caribbean Islands

Local residents across the Caribbean Islands have woken up to find their usual warm and sunny climate is currently inaccessible due to an unusual winter blizzard that has slammed the region. Winds are howling at more than 70 mph, the Blizzard of 2...

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75 year-old regular drinker 'vanishes' as guerilla demolition razes historic London pub

Funny story: 75 year-old regular drinker 'vanishes' as guerilla demolition razes historic London pub

London - North London's Jamaican community is gobsmacked after a patron of some 40 years at a North London boozer was declared missing - presumed pissed - when a hysteric pub in Kilburn was suddenly demolished without permission this morning. Jere...

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Obama buys Jamaican retirement pad

Funny story: Obama buys Jamaican retirement pad

Washington DC - "Dis am me Audacity of Dope ganja shack,"" Obama tweeted as he posted pics of a stunning Montego Bay beachside villa complete with its very own cannabis plantation. The $1 million oceanfront mansion has five bedrooms, ten bathrooms...

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Obama's private emails encrypted in Jamaican Patois

Funny story: Obama's private emails encrypted in Jamaican Patois

Washington DC - The White House says most of President Obama's private emails to Hillary Clinton were returned unopened because the former US Secretary of Snakes couldn't handle Jamaican Patois. The Creole-related Caribbean tongue-encrypted presi...

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Scientist Says The North Pole Could End Up Totally Covering Canada

Funny story: Scientist Says The North Pole Could End Up Totally Covering Canada

KINGSTON, Jamaica - One of the world's leading experts on the North Pole, Dr. Alejandro Pajaro, has said that if his global warming calculations are correct Canada is going to be in a world of trouble (no pun intended). Dr. Pajaro stated that he h...

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Mayor Rob Ford Exposed As Jamaican Rastafarian Drug Kingpin At City Hall Christmas Party

Funny story: Mayor Rob Ford Exposed As Jamaican Rastafarian Drug Kingpin At City Hall Christmas Party

TORONTO, Canada - Rob Ford, Mayor of Toronto, was exposed by undercover detectives as a Jamaican drug kingpin who was thought to have died in a narc plane crash several years ago. The discovery was unhatched during a Christmas party at City Hall whic...

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Concern Expressed Over Yardy Depression

Funny story: Concern Expressed Over Yardy Depression

West Indian authorities are concerned about an apparent epidemic of depression cases amongst adult males. The Jamaican Minister of Health has issued a stark warning after a spate of West Kingston yardies presented with depressive symptoms over the...

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Klingon to be adopted as the first language of Jamaica

Funny story: Klingon to be adopted as the first language of Jamaica

In a controversial move, Jamaica is to adopt the artificial language Klingon as its official first language. The decision comes after the only speaker of the aboriginal language of Jamaica, Henry Brown, died on Monday taking with him the language of...

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Bob Marley condemns Kingston Town raids and asks Jamaicans to protect their "Drug Lord"

Funny story: Bob Marley condemns Kingston Town raids and asks Jamaicans to protect their "Drug Lord"

Bob Marley has been speaking from his lofty heights in the Rastafari heavens about the police raids on his hometown and has condemned 'dem, mon'! Sitting next to the Emperor Haeli Selassie, Bob, speaking through a Rasta medium called Jerkitup Join...

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Jamaican Fleet Sails to UK to Rescue Stranded Air Passengers

Funny story: Jamaican Fleet Sails to UK to Rescue Stranded Air Passengers

Due to one rather untimely volcanic eruption in Iceland, and with what may now also be an extended grounding for air travel into and out of the UK, those wishing to travel where neither tires nor trains go, has become just a little problematic. B...

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SuBo fanatic gets lost!

Funny story: SuBo fanatic gets lost!

An unnamed Susan Boyle fanatic on her way to Japan to see SuBo perform was last night found in Jamaica after accidentally getting on the wrong plane. "I had accidentally left my glasses at home, so I couldn't quite see what the departure screen sa...

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Jamaica: The Number One Ally On The War On Terror

It turns out that one of America's favorite places to drink rum, listen to Reggae, and get mugged five blocks from their hotel, has revealed itself as one of America's strongest allies in the War On Terror. For decades, Americans have enjoyed the...

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UFO mothership suspected behind theft of Jamaica beach

Funny story: UFO mothership suspected behind theft of Jamaica beach

Kingston, Jamaica - (X-Files Mess): A massive 1,000 metre mothership was reported hovering over the golden shoreline of Coral Spring beach moments before 911 tonnes of high-grade tourist-ready sand vanished. Police sources in the island's northern...

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Jamaican Runners Caught Doping with Dope

Funny story: Jamaican Runners Caught Doping with Dope

In a sad day for Jamaica, the country's entire Olympic track team was disqualified and stripped of their medals. Several runners tested positive for a banned substance - ganja. So far no one has disclosed which athletes tested positive. Usain Bolt...

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Usain Bolt In Possible Medal-Stripping Scandal

Funny story: Usain Bolt In Possible Medal-Stripping Scandal

Usain Bolt, the fastest man on Earth, could be stripped of his Olympic 100m sprint gold medal after it was discovered that his name is an anagram of the silly word 'Ablutions'. Bolt, 21, is from Jamaica, where the standard way of telling someone t...

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Yardie Army?

Funny story: Yardie Army?

As everyone knows, a significant number of British Army troops have been killed or injured in Iraq and Afghanistan which has left the army somewhat depleted. MOD sources confirmed that the British Army is considering a recruitment drive in J...

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Who Found the Fone?!

Who really found Amelia Milk Swell's phone? There is still rumors going around saying DJ liquid lost his cell phone after he had finish having oral sex with Milk, what a co-incidence just after he had finish, but it is clear that she is fired from CVM. And why don't Candies admit the fact that she no longer works there, and stop bring around the people of Jamaica and the world in circles?

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Breaking news…

Trump Jr. Says That He Always Wanted to Be Separated From His Parents

That's why he can't understand the consternation at the border with kids being taken from parents.
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