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Funny satire stories about Jamaica

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Funny story: Black Wives Chatter!

Black Wives Chatter!

"Grandpa would be turnin' in his grave, innit", said Cedella Campbell, of Stratford, London. "Came over on dat Windrush boat, 1948, Tilbury, and now dis Johnson fatman, he just mash everyone up. I dig all Indians, but how dey speak, man, dey sound li...

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Funny story: Don Lemon Says Donald Trump Was Born in Jamaica and He Needs To Be Sent Back

Don Lemon Says Donald Trump Was Born in Jamaica and He Needs To Be Sent Back

NEW YORK CITY - CNN’s Don Lemon, who hates Donald Trump more than wrestlers hate body odor, recently learned that DJT was born in Jamaica. When Lemon heard that, he quickly said that Nancy Pelosi should see about getting his golfing butt deported...

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Funny story: Where are they now? Dodgy 1970s Drinks

Where are they now? Dodgy 1970s Drinks

Snowball. Rum and black. Port and lemon. Cinzano and lemonade. The list is endless, but here at The Spoof we mourn the passing of some of our favourite 1970s booze - but not all. Snakebite. A snakebite is traditionally made with equal parts of lag...

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Funny story: Black People Fed Up with Middle Class White Boys Singing in Faux Jamaican Accents

Black People Fed Up with Middle Class White Boys Singing in Faux Jamaican Accents

Tom Walker was born in Glasgow, but when he was three years old his family moved to the Cheshire town of Knutsford. He described his upbringing in a 'Glaswegian house' as his parents spoke in impenetrable accents. George Ezra Barnett was born in H...

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Funny story: Obama Declares Martial Law--President Trump Furious

Obama Declares Martial Law--President Trump Furious

After the Trump administration floundered in it's first hundred days, former President Obama decided to declare martial law in the US. In response, a livid President Trump tweeted with plans for an invasion of Obama's headquarters in Jamaica. "...

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Funny story: Snow storm hits the Caribbean Islands

Snow storm hits the Caribbean Islands

Local residents across the Caribbean Islands have woken up to find their usual warm and sunny climate is currently inaccessible due to an unusual winter blizzard that has slammed the region. Winds are howling at more than 70 mph, the Blizzard of 2...

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Funny story: 75 year-old regular drinker 'vanishes' as guerilla demolition razes historic London pub

75 year-old regular drinker 'vanishes' as guerilla demolition razes historic London pub

London - North London's Jamaican community is gobsmacked after a patron of some 40 years at a North London boozer was declared missing - presumed pissed - when a hysteric pub in Kilburn was suddenly demolished without permission this morning. Jere...

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Funny story: Obama buys Jamaican retirement pad

Obama buys Jamaican retirement pad

Washington DC - "Dis am me Audacity of Dope ganja shack,"" Obama tweeted as he posted pics of a stunning Montego Bay beachside villa complete with its very own cannabis plantation. The $1 million oceanfront mansion has five bedrooms, ten bathrooms...

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Funny story: Obama's private emails encrypted in Jamaican Patois

Obama's private emails encrypted in Jamaican Patois

Washington DC - The White House says most of President Obama's private emails to Hillary Clinton were returned unopened because the former US Secretary of Snakes couldn't handle Jamaican Patois. The Creole-related Caribbean tongue-encrypted presi...

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Funny story: Scientist Says The North Pole Could End Up Totally Covering Canada

Scientist Says The North Pole Could End Up Totally Covering Canada

KINGSTON, Jamaica - One of the world's leading experts on the North Pole, Dr. Alejandro Pajaro, has said that if his global warming calculations are correct Canada is going to be in a world of trouble (no pun intended). Dr. Pajaro stated that he h...

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Funny story: Mayor Rob Ford Exposed As Jamaican Rastafarian Drug Kingpin At City Hall Christmas Party

Mayor Rob Ford Exposed As Jamaican Rastafarian Drug Kingpin At City Hall Christmas Party

TORONTO, Canada - Rob Ford, Mayor of Toronto, was exposed by undercover detectives as a Jamaican drug kingpin who was thought to have died in a narc plane crash several years ago. The discovery was unhatched during a Christmas party at City Hall whic...

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Funny story: Concern Expressed Over Yardy Depression

Concern Expressed Over Yardy Depression

West Indian authorities are concerned about an apparent epidemic of depression cases amongst adult males. The Jamaican Minister of Health has issued a stark warning after a spate of West Kingston yardies presented with depressive symptoms over the...

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Funny story: Klingon to be adopted as the first language of Jamaica

Klingon to be adopted as the first language of Jamaica

In a controversial move, Jamaica is to adopt the artificial language Klingon as its official first language. The decision comes after the only speaker of the aboriginal language of Jamaica, Henry Brown, died on Monday taking with him the language of...

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Funny story: Bob Marley condemns Kingston Town raids and asks Jamaicans to protect their "Drug Lord"

Bob Marley condemns Kingston Town raids and asks Jamaicans to protect their "Drug Lord"

Bob Marley has been speaking from his lofty heights in the Rastafari heavens about the police raids on his hometown and has condemned 'dem, mon'! Sitting next to the Emperor Haeli Selassie, Bob, speaking through a Rasta medium called Jerkitup Join...

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Funny story: Jamaican Fleet Sails to UK to Rescue Stranded Air Passengers

Jamaican Fleet Sails to UK to Rescue Stranded Air Passengers

Due to one rather untimely volcanic eruption in Iceland, and with what may now also be an extended grounding for air travel into and out of the UK, those wishing to travel where neither tires nor trains go, has become just a little problematic. B...

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Funny story: SuBo fanatic gets lost!

SuBo fanatic gets lost!

An unnamed Susan Boyle fanatic on her way to Japan to see SuBo perform was last night found in Jamaica after accidentally getting on the wrong plane. "I had accidentally left my glasses at home, so I couldn't quite see what the departure screen sa...

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Funny story: Jamaica: The Number One Ally On The War On Terror

Jamaica: The Number One Ally On The War On Terror

It turns out that one of America's favorite places to drink rum, listen to Reggae, and get mugged five blocks from their hotel, has revealed itself as one of America's strongest allies in the War On Terror. For decades, Americans have enjoyed the...

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