Jimmy Kimmel to Host a Debate Between CNN’s Anderson Cooper and Fox News’ Sean Hannity

Written by Abel Rodriguez

Sunday, 3 May 2020

image for Jimmy Kimmel to Host a Debate Between CNN’s Anderson Cooper and Fox News’ Sean Hannity
Kimmel stated that both debaters have agreed to wear haz-mat suits during the debate.

LOS ANGELES – ABC has stated that they are finalizing the plans to have a debate on the virtual Jimmy Kimmel Show.

Network executives have talked to both Anderson Cooper and Sean Hannity, and both men have agreed to appear on the show.

Hannity said that he wanted $14,000 but NBC declined his request.

Cooper said that all he wanted was a few bottles of water, a medical mask, and a big bag of Cheetos.

Hannity said that he didn’t care about a mask, but remarked that he did want water and a big bag of Cheetos. He was quickly told that he would only be getting the water.

The golden boy of Fox News asked why he couldn’t have Cheetos like Cooper. He was told that if he really wanted Cheetos, he could get them from his boss, Rupert Murdoch, at the government-run Fox News Network.

Kimmel explained that the debate will adhere to the standard Abraham Lincoln Rules of Debating.

The rules clearly stipulate that there will be no cussing, no yelling, no explicit homophobic slurs, and no biting.

Hannity will also be restricted from using the phrase, “Fair and Balanced”, and Cooper will be restricted from using the word “Exquisite”.

The Cooper-Hannity Debate will be sponsored by Captain Crunch Cereal, Vagisil Deodorant Powder (in four colorful colors), and in part by The Trump Hotel Chain.

Kimmel said that, to make the debate really interesting, both debaters will be blindfolded.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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