Daily newspaper puts future-of-the-country newsflash ABOVE story about breasts

Funny story written by TonySofas

Monday, 27 August 2018


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Confusion descends as popular paper prints story with NOTHING to do with girls with their baps out.

In a ground breaking move, a well known British red-top has splashed an objective, well researched story about Britain's current political state across it's front page, before a story about almost seeing a B list-er's nipple on the red carpet for some do or another.

In a further move towards blatant radicalism, there was no mention of immigration. "It had nothing to do with the issue at hand, so seemed irrelevant," responded the journalist responsible for the reckless act, who wished to remain anonymous, after demands that the papers "go back to where they came from" were issued via a meme someone created in their bedroom.

"What the hell were they thinking?", raged an incensed reader. "No one's got the time for this s**t", while later admitting that he accidentally read some of the article during a phone data fail, and it was "actually quite good". He warned against the dangers of too much of a good thing, however, advising fellow citizens "not to believe everything you read. They completely skipped the issue of all the benefit fraud immigrants that I saw on social media, they just kept banging on about sources, evidence and real facts and figures."

The road looks to be a rocky one for this one-time Backbone of Britain. "Coming back from such an insane act will be be no mean feat," advised someone who probably has 7 degrees of separation from an expert. "No mean feat at all," he added, helpfully.

Any readers affected by the emotional stresses of this story are advised to get over it immediately. It wasn't that sad, guys, we're all going to be OK.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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