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Funny satire stories about Fast Food

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America's 'Statue Removal' Craze Triggers The Downfall Of An Icon

For over 50 years Ronald McDonald has been a symbol of family and fun spreading happiness to children of all ages around the world. But earlier today, thousands of Ronald McDonald statues across the globe were either taken down or covered with bla...

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McDonut's burgers found to have traces of meat

Following claims by the McDonut's chain that their burgers are more nutritious than a rump steak, the International Standards Association conducted a scientific analysis of their burgers globally. The summarised results show the following slightly wo...

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Terror at Mickey-D's

Funny story: Terror at Mickey-D's

A Mickey-D's customer was betrayed by employees who ID'd him and made him wait a little extra time for his order so the food patrol could come and deny him his last meal. He didn't have it his way at Mickey-D's. Jackson went through the so calle...

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KFC isn't as FLG as it used to be (and ought to be)

Funny story: KFC isn't as FLG as it used to be (and ought to be)

DOGPATCH, KY ---- Kentucky Fried Chicken, more commonly known by the initials FLG (for "finger-lickin' good") claims to be a restaurant that "happens to sell fast food," rather than a fast-food franchise. With nearly 20,000 locations, there's probably one near you unless you live in a country other than the United States, although there are one or two FLGs in such third-world hellholes as the Unit...

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McDonaldo's freshens its menu (sort of)

Funny story: McDonaldo's freshens its menu (sort of)

ANYTOWN, USA -- At McDonaldo's, if you buy anything other than a 1/4 Pounder, you can go pound sand, as far as the freshness of your order is concerned. "We don't do 'fresh,' when it comes to our hamboogers, cheeseboogers, or Big Macks," CEO Ronaldo...

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Fast Food restaurants ban "Healthy" looking people

Funny story: Fast Food restaurants ban "Healthy" looking people

Only in Trumps America would such a move be considered in keeping with current equality laws. After recent pressure from 'large' groups of eatavists, several fast food restaurant chains have given in and applied a nationwide ban on healthy peopl...

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Allahuh Ak Bar opens in Bradford

Funny story: Allahuh Ak Bar opens in Bradford

A new non-alcoholic kebab bar has opened in Bradford today specialising in vegetarian and gluten-free kebabs, although in an effort not to insult some potential customers, it won't be declared nut-free. Thought by cynics to be named after the hue...

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Cenk Uygur: Extraordinary, Unprecedented Anti-Corporation Rant (1/2)

A recent "virulent" rant by Cenk Uygur has gone "viral" on Youtube... Oh, crap. Mere semantics again, isn't it? Anyways, have a look at this transcript. Responses on a snail-card please. Well, yeah, why not? After all highly eloquent and intellectually satisfying responses from Ted Nugent and Sarah Palin have already appeared... So don't be last in the race to the bottom. Still, wh...

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Candidate Sanders picks Colonel Sanders for VEEP slot

Funny story: Candidate Sanders picks Colonel Sanders for VEEP slot

Burlington, Vermont -- Democratic presidential candidate Bernie Sanders has selected deceased fast food mogul Col. Harlan David Sanders as his vice presidential running mate. Asked to describe the "flavor" of their campaign, Col. Sanders said: "It...

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McDee's To Test New "Make-It-Yo-Damn-Self" Locations in L.A.

Funny story: McDee's To Test New "Make-It-Yo-Damn-Self" Locations in L.A.

Los Angeles, CA - In an effort to keep up with the times and not slide down the grease sewer of bankruptcy, McDonald's is rolling out implementation of their latest marketing gimmick. "We've poured hundreds of millions of dollars into this project...

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Back In Gear: The new Jeremy Clarkson motoring show!

Funny story: Back In Gear: The new Jeremy Clarkson motoring show!

Back In Gear HQ, London: Jeremy Clarkson BACK to present live shows to avoid paying out £10million in refunds to angry fans. Jeremy Clarkson will front the 'Back in Gear' Live World Tour, with Richard Hammond and James May, which is set to make more...

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Warren Buffet advises schoolchildren to "eat junk"

Funny story: Warren Buffet advises schoolchildren to "eat junk"

OUT THERE -- Famed financier Warren Buffet says his secret source of energy is in his name: buffet. "Eat like it's your last meal," he advises six-year-old schoolchildren, "and you're at an all-you-can-eat buffet!" That's where the octogenarian-pl...

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Nobel Physics Prize Accidentally Awarded To Micro Chips Inventor Dyson McDonald

Funny story: Nobel Physics Prize Accidentally Awarded To Micro Chips Inventor Dyson McDonald

The Nobel Prize for innovative development in physics has been accidentally awarded to Dyson MacDonald, the inventor of "microwave chips" and not the microchip inventor Werner Jacobi. The invention of the integrated circuit, or microchip goes bac...

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Fast-food customers safe "for now"

Funny story: Fast-food customers safe "for now"

DEE TROIT, MI - Disgruntled fast-food workers have united, in Dee Troit, of all places, walking off their jobs in support of unionization, after union reps, armed with baseball bats and megaphones, promised them $15 and benefits for cleaning restroom...

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Bugger Queen to Slide Meat Between Tim Horny's Buns

U.S. fast food chain Bugger Queen, aided by a load of seed money from financier Warren Bummit, announced plans to penetrate the Canadian market by buying up coffee and dog nut chain Tim Horny's. "We're really pumped up over this", announced Bugger...

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Fast Food Industry Rampant With Falsified Resumes Says Doctoral Student

Funny story: Fast Food Industry Rampant With Falsified Resumes Says Doctoral Student

Iowa City - A doctoral student at The University of Iowa has uncovered a startling number of falsified resumes within the fast food industry. Ichabod Alchemy was working on his thesis which is a study of underlying economic trends that affect the...

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Malevolent Mascot Maraurdes Mongolian Metropolis

Funny story: Malevolent Mascot Maraurdes Mongolian Metropolis

Disturbing images are filtering in through the Mongolian social media site, DuckSoup.web Witnesses in one of Ulan Baator's biggest McDonald's "restaurants" have attested to seeing an 8 foot mascot dressed in the Sino-friendly version of Ronald McD...

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UFO Sightings Up, Fat People Disappearing.

Funny story: UFO Sightings Up, Fat People Disappearing.

Professor Montgomery of a Think Tank located in West Virginia rural area say that they have become alarmed at the both the sightings of UFOs in the sky and a growing list of missing fat people. "We now believe that the connection is that whoever i...

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