SAN FRANCISCO – The iNews Agency is reporting that the sex toy industry is experiencing the greatest boom in the history of sex toys, because of the C-19 social distancing 6-foot rule.
Upper Northern Hemisphere Sex Toy Company CEO, Ira Goldenberger, said that orders are coming in from every state of the union, and also from 147 of the world’s 196 countries.
Goldie, as he is known, said that his company has had to put on a second and third shift, and have had to hire 400 new employees, including 60 who will do nothing but test the sex toys.
When asked where most of the orders are coming from, he replied, “We are getting a tremendous volume of orders from New York City, Beverly Hills, and Walla Walla, Washington.
When asked why Walla Walla, he replied “I have no idea idea.”
Mr. Goldenberger pointed out that the biggest seller right now is the X-69 Neptune Engulfer Boom-Boomer. He added that it is followed very closely by the Kim Kardashian Lady Libido Oscillating Commando Tick Tocker.
CEO Goldenberger was asked to explain what exactly those two sex products were and what they did, but there is just no way that we would be allowed to print his answers here.