Corona 'Silver Lining': Remains of gangland victims become visible in Limehouse Basin for first time in 70 years

Written by Clive Danton

Thursday, 19 March 2020

image for Corona 'Silver Lining': Remains of gangland victims become visible in Limehouse Basin for first time in 70 years

In what is being hailed as a surprising silver lining in the current health crisis, environmentalists have reported that the butchered remains of 1950s and 60s gangland victims are now clearly visible at the bottom of the previously murky, Limehouse Basin in East London, just two days after many polluting local industries shut down due to the coronavirus scare.

Locals have reported spotting a number of skeletons, many with the hands and heads removed to prevent identification, lying strewn in the silt, some with large blocks of concrete chained to their ankles.

One local man, Toby Dell, 54, from Whitechapel, told us: "It's like a miracle. Some of those skeletons must be around 70 years old, and were probably victims of the Kray twins, or even Jack Spot and Billy Hill in the 1940s.

"It's absolutely marvellous to see a part of this area's heritage again after all these years.

"It just goes to show that every cloud..."

One of the last surviving members of the notorious Kray Brothers' 'Firm', Freddie 'Brown Bread Fred' Foreman, told The East London Gazette: "I was told that a number of local faces were thrown into the Basin back in the old days, but I had nothing to do with any of them.

"In fact, I was in the pub when they was served up, and I can call on at least half a dozen witnesses who were drinking with me all evening at the time."

Environmentalists now hope that the reduction in pollution to London's waterways may improve visibility in local lakes and canals south of the Thames in Bermondsey, where it is believed the butchered bodies of up to two hundred victims of the notorious Richardson brothers were disposed of between 1959 and '63.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics



Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Subscribe…
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more