Coronavirus: Patient Zero Undergoing Mutation

Written by Monkey Woods

Thursday, 19 March 2020

image for Coronavirus: Patient Zero Undergoing Mutation
The changes have been subtle, but distinct

The man who is thought to have been the very first patient to have suffered from the Coronavirus, is under strict medical supervision tonight, after it was noticed by doctors that he was undergoing some strange and unexplained mutation.

The man, given the label 'Patient Zero', contracted the Covid-19 virus in early January after eating Bat Soup at a restaurant in Wuhan, China, but eventually recovered, and was allowed home on 17 February.

By 28 February, however, Patient Zero was reporting 'severe aches' in his shoulders and groin area, and on 6 March, told his doctor that he had pain in both arms.

After hospital tests, it was found that his biceps were developing at an alarming rate, and becoming rather leathery.

By yesterday, the man's wife had reported that her husband no longer speaks, but now sends out ultra-high-frequency screeches, and has started sleeping upside-down.

The hospital where Patient Zero was initially treated, now say that his changing physical condition may be connected to some Bat Fried Rice he ate during his stay there, although this is, by no means, certain.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more