EAGLE PASS, Texas - (Satire News) - United States Custom Agents report finding cocaine stuffed in a shipment of vibrators. US agent Mills R. Sunfax said that the coke was found in 200 vibrators that were in an 18-wheeler truck that was bound for M…
HOLLYWOOD - (Satire News) - The Denmark-based sex toy company Sexy Sex Toys Up The Wazoo, reports that their brand new Marjorie Taylor Inflatable Doll has just become the most popular sex toy doll in the US; even more popular than The Taylor Swift In…
SACRAMENTO, California – (Satire News) – The California state legislature has just voted on making the vibrator, the official state sex toy. According to a legislative spokesperson the vote was an overwhelming 84 to 14, with 3 abstaining. State…
LONDON – (UK Satire) – London’s True Dat News Agency reports that Sarah Ferguson’s brand new adult sex toy shoppe is doing fantastic business. In fact, reporter Reggie Rickenbacker commented that Fergie’s shoppe, known as the Lascivious Lobster Ad…
LONDON – (UK Satire) – Piers Morgan has just announced that there is no one happier in the entire UK than his girlfriend, the former Duchess of York, Sarah Ferguson. Morgan noted that his British babe’s brand new adult shoppe named The Lascivious…
LONDON – (Satire News) – The Duchess of York, has been in the news more in the past two months, than she has in the past four years. Sarah Ferguson, gained some unwanted fame due to the Infamous Toe Sucking Incident of 1992. Fergie was the suck…
WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – It’s being reported by News Blues reporter, Velveeta Maracas, that the US has made it abundantly clear to France that they will no longer import anymore of their French Ticklers (sex toys). White House Press Secr…
HOUSTON – (Sports Satire) – Hollywood Innuendo has broken the scoop as to why Tiffany Vagaselli resigned her position as director of security for the Houston Astros. Fajita San Guacamole, with Hollywood Innuendo stated that 27-year-old Vagaselli r…
WEST HOLLYWOOD – (Satire News) – The top rated reality show “The Housewives of Intercourse, Pennsylvania," has just knocked “Growing Up Kardashian” on it’s collective ass. Bedroom Pillow Talk reporter Carolina Chipotle recently sat down with the…
(NOT EDITED) Scientists at the Robert Koch Institute in Berlin, Germany, working overtime in last ditch attempts to make head or tail about a certain pandemic tormenting the planet, have realised their sex-lives are suffering! Working 24 hour shif…
CHICAGO – Recent polls report that STD numbers are at the lowest level that they have been since March of 2003. The figures clearly show that, since so many individuals are now sheltering-in-place, the incidences of vodie oh doeing have just about...
SAN FRANCISCO – The iNews Agency is reporting that the sex toy industry is experiencing the greatest boom in the history of sex toys, because of the C-19 social distancing 6-foot rule. Upper Northern Hemisphere Sex Toy Company CEO, Ira Goldenberge...
Men paranoid with the size of their favorite 'tool', either too big or too small (size doesn't matter at all; thanks Rammstein for that), can now ask for a new one because in the US a successful transplantation has opened the floodgates.. Indian/A...
A Parisian sex doll brothel is causing an outrage in the dark world of "Tossers United" because Parisian porno stars are refusing to perform unless their plastic competitors are removed from the seedy sex underground world in the 'city of love!'...
It seems the retail toy world is in turmoil after a giant toy retailer announced it was bankrupt in the US and Canada and cannot compete with internet rivals that swim up the Amazon and Target other Wally Martyrs! So, after hearing that China has...
A US sex toy developer who designed the first talking sex robot has had to take back a prototype because during sex with a client, it chattered non-stop! A Californian male (they're all sex mad and nutters) purchased the prototype after divorcing...
A campaign has been launched by the 'Alliance of Human Escorts and Sex Workers' for a ban on robots designed for sexual pleasure. 'Non-humans have made the hard work of flesh and blood sex workers look far too easy', said Union spokesman Tommy Tal...
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