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Funny satire stories about Social distancing

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Funny story: Preston Is Full Of Granny-Killers

Preston Is Full Of Granny-Killers

In the last couple of days the town of Preston has become the latest to lock down due to an increase in Covid-19 cases. Mike Offsworse, councillor at Preston City Council, said it was " ... alarming to see that the under-30s are contracting it at…

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Funny story: Farting now socially acceptable due to social distancing!

Farting now socially acceptable due to social distancing!

(UNEDITED) It matters not if 2 metres or 1.5 metres, a once socially unacceptable habit has now become acceptable in restaurants, pubs, cafes, etc; farting! Before corona, if people felt discomfort forming due to combustible build ups in the belly…

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Funny story: London store Arrods adopts foolproof 'Social Distancing' method

London store Arrods adopts foolproof 'Social Distancing' method

Whilst most shops have followed the pattern of placing tape on the ground two metres apart to ensure customers' safety, London's Arrods has adopted a different approach. Customer Service Manager, Cedric Posher-Thanyew, explained. "We found that th…

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Funny story: EastEnders episodes will be shorter and use CGI on set to compensate for social distancing - unfortunately 20 minutes will still feel like 30 minutes

EastEnders episodes will be shorter and use CGI on set to compensate for social distancing - unfortunately 20 minutes will still feel like 30 minutes

The filming of British soap EastEnders will adopt digital technology to meet social distancing requirements. Actor, Jake Woods, said: ‘CGI is amazing. I film my scenes at home sat on the toilet but with CGI it looks I’m in someone else’s home sat on…

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Funny story: The Spoof Guide to social distancing

The Spoof Guide to social distancing

These are very confusing times that we are living in, and it seems that with unnecessary shops opening up, there are a minefield of issues to go through. Here is our easy-to-follow 3 step guide: 1) Always give people space. 2 metres is the bare mi…

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Funny story: Social Distancing measures - Just somewhere between a Richard Osman and a Ronnie Corbett

Social Distancing measures - Just somewhere between a Richard Osman and a Ronnie Corbett

In another case of vagueness for the UK government, and in using popular culture as a measuring stick, the good people of the United Kingdom have been told that social distancing is no longer a uniform two metres, but now can be anywhere between a Ri…

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Funny story: Coronavirus Social Distancing Distance Reduced To 4' 6"

Coronavirus Social Distancing Distance Reduced To 4' 6"

In a surprise move, this afternoon, Prime Minister Boris Johnson announced in the Commons that the distance of 6 feet that had been the lower limit at which people should practise 'social distancing', is to be partially reduced, to 4 feet 6 inches fr...

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Funny story: How To Cope Under Lockdown, with Charles "Turnip" Townshend

How To Cope Under Lockdown, with Charles "Turnip" Townshend

Charles Townshend, 2nd Viscount Townshend, in full Charles Townshend, 2nd Viscount Townshend of Raynham, (born April 18, 1675, Raynham Hall, Norfolk, England—died June 21, 1738, Raynham), Whig statesman who directed British foreign policy from 1721 t...

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Funny story: Misanthrope Accepts Social Distancing With A Wry Smile

Misanthrope Accepts Social Distancing With A Wry Smile

BILLINGSGATE POST: When Elmer Smuckmeister heard that the Mayor of Beaver Crossing was making social distancing mandatory in this small farm town in Nebraska, the corners of his pie hole turned upwards. Elmer was not fond of the usual courtesies...

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Funny story: The WWE Has Come Up With a Way To Have Wrestling Matches While Adhering to the 6-Foot Social Distancing Policy

The WWE Has Come Up With a Way To Have Wrestling Matches While Adhering to the 6-Foot Social Distancing Policy

NEW YORK CITY – Vince McMahon, CEO of World Wrestling Entertainment, has informed the wrestling world not to worry because the WWE will be returning very soon. WWE announcer Cicero “The Mouth” Alamogordo stated that he met with Vince, his wife Lin...

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Funny story: CDC Reports Social Distancing Is Working! People Feeling More Distant than Ever

CDC Reports Social Distancing Is Working! People Feeling More Distant than Ever

Weeks into the COVID-19 lockdown, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention encouragingly reported that social distancing is working - as evidenced by the fact that people are feeling more distant than ever. “I’ve felt disconnected from frien...

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Funny story: Attractive Woman Hurt No One Willing to Social Distance With Her

Attractive Woman Hurt No One Willing to Social Distance With Her

Isolated and craving physical companionship in the midst of the nationwide coronavirus lockdown, Bonnie Radick of Nashville, Tennessee, was hurt that, while there were a good number of men willing to come have sex with her, she could not find anyone,...

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Funny story: New Aftershave Will Help With Social Distancing

New Aftershave Will Help With Social Distancing

A brand new aftershave that is due to be released onto the commercial market on Monday, is being touted as the perfect gift for those women who are finding social distancing from their man so difficult. Indeed, it will act like a shield. The af...

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Funny story: Ultra-rich Facing New Challenges Due to COVID-19

Ultra-rich Facing New Challenges Due to COVID-19

(Greenwich St, New York NY) The Ultra-rich (commonly known as "The 1% of the 1%"), are facing real challenges during the current world health crisis, despite having the financial means to seemingly overcome anything. A country in peril. Its citiz...

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Funny story: Last Line of Defense Ribbon Campaign Announced!

Last Line of Defense Ribbon Campaign Announced!

(Philadelphia, PA) Support The Ribbons, Inc. (a New York state supplier of made-in-China custom-printed magnetic ribbons) announced a new line of products specifically designed to address the needs of the true heroes of this tragic time, the Last Lin...

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Funny story: Multiple Personality Patients Not Coping Well With Social Distancing

Multiple Personality Patients Not Coping Well With Social Distancing

The government's social-distancing advice, given to try to limit the spread of any viruses that might be about, are, on the whole, having a positive effect, but there is one section of the population that is finding it nigh-on impossible to keep away...

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Funny story: Spoof Writer Criticises Coronavirus Guidelines

Spoof Writer Criticises Coronavirus Guidelines

A long-standing Spoof Writer has spoken out about the current guidelines that are being discussed and debated by so many intellectual giants and idiots alike in these turbulent but also very quiet times when the dangers are very real but at the same...

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