BBC Spoof News

18 August 2019

Harry Maguire To Read The News At Ten

Harry Maguire, the one-time Hull City carthorse who earler this week signed for Manchester United from Leicester City, is a popular man. He's also extremely handsome. And muscular. That's the reason behind the BBC's decision to ask the £80milli...

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BBC Sport win rights to broadcast Tiger Woods' caddy's wife putting the shopping away

BBC Sport announced, last night, that they have made a successful bid to screen Tiger Woods' caddy's wife, Brenda, putting the shopping away on the final day of this year's Open Championship at Portrush in Northern Island. A spokesman for the BBC...

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I'll Beat Trump's Bloody Head In: Dalai Lama's Shock Outburst

His Holiness, The Dalai Lama, shocked Buddhists across the world last night, by telling journalists that he's "had enough of that f******g cretin, Donald Trump," and vowed to "beat his bloody head in" at the earliest opportunity. Speaking at a pre...

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It's ok to think Doctor Who is gay, says David Tennant's ex-boyfriend

The 36-year-old David Tennant is considered by many viewers to be the best dressed incarnation yet of Time Lord Doctor Who. Far from milking his celebrity, though, he hardly ever speaks to the press. In this rare interview, his former boyfri...

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TV License Attack

Over 11,000 people over the age of 100 will be stripped of their free TV licenses under a Tory government, in what seems like another instalment in the magic ritual to resurrect their blood God. Pensioners everywhere have said how much of an effect i...

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Alice Roberts Naked In Evolution Documentary?

Hopes are running high that top thinking-man's totty Alice Roberts will finally get her kit off on TV tonight. In her latest documentary, BBC2's Horizon: Are We Still Evolving? the anatomist, author and broadcaster asks if the human body has finis...

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BBC Admits - Dr Who critics to face Education Camps

Donald Trump To Make D-Day Guest Appearance On BBC Question Time

Savile 'a kind of cancer'

BBC In Eastenders Storm

BBC denies hoodwinking viewers

The Curse Of The Last Of The Summer Wine

Bettany Hughes's Divine Women "Big Disappointment" Says Alice Roberts Group

BBC Launch Probe Into Bruce Forsyth "False Chin" Allegations

Official body confirms that the fake news website "Fake News" does contain fake news

Thieving Penguin On 'Frozen Planet' "Was A Scouser. Probably."

Some News Headlines You May Have Missed

BBC Contemplates Piers Morgan as Last Man Standing to Purge 'festering bog pit?"

Black And White Minstrel Show To Make Comeback!

The Black and White Minstrel Show, the popular 'blackface' song and dance extravaganza broadcast on BBC television for 20 years, is to astound viewers once more, by making a comeback to the small screen this spring. The show, which was axed in 197...

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Bettany Hughes Admirers Warn Off Frustrated Alice Roberts Fans

Admirers of historian Bettany Hughes are sending out warning signals to fans of rival TV boffin babe, Alice Roberts, as they prepare to watch her latest series, Divine Women tonight. As has been reported in these pages ad nauseum followers of anat...

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Alice Roberts Story Latest: Callers Seek Nude Laura Kuenssberg Photos

The endless story concerning the required state of dress for female TV presenters dragged in another new name yesterday. It emerged that the latest object of fan desire is BBC political correspondent Laura Kuenssberg when our reporter was approach...

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Alice Roberts v Miranda Krestovnikoff: Coast Gals Square Up!

Fans of BBC documentary series Coast are bracing themselves for a bust-up between two of their favourite female presenters. As we reported last week, fans of presenter Dr Alice Roberts were disappointed that she is keeping her clothes on for her n...

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Alice Roberts Viewing Figures Set To Plummet As Fans Switch Off "Origins Of Us"

BBC chiefs are fearing a huge drop in viewing figures for their latest Alice Roberts vehicle, Origins Of Us. The second episode of the three part story of human evolution airs tonight but following an angry response to last week's first part, BBC2...

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BBC In A Spin Over Axeing Of Latest Children's Show...Before It's Even Been Aired!!

The BBC has today pulled the plug on what it had hoped was going to be the saviour of kiddies TV, following a severe rap on the knuckles from TV watchdog OFCOM.

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Top Gear Back For Seventeenth Season - Was It Ever Away?

Popular motoring programme, Top Gear, returns to BBC2 this evening for its 17th season. Presented by Jeremy Clarkson, James May and Richard Hammond, the show is BBC2's most popular programme and it's best-selling show around the world. It conti...

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Charles Hates Variety

The future of the Royal Variety Performance has been thrown into doubt after Prince Charles revealed he was so bored that he was forced to have a conversation with Camilla. The Prince of Wales, who attends the performance every year, was said to...

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Christmas Doctor Who To Feature Felicity Kendal

The Head of BBC Entertainment has said in a statement, that more ex-celebrities have been invited to star in the exciting new Christmas Doctor Who episode.

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Alice Roberts Back On Screen - Fans Hold Breath

TV expert on all things human, Alice Roberts, is back on UK screens tonight in a new series, causing excitement among her thousands of fans nationwide. Dr Roberts launches a three-part documentary series Origins Of Us on BBC2 in which she explores...

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Lib Dem 'inappropriate conduct' victim says nine other women 'involved' in case

A woman at the centre of the inappropriate conduct case has said that she believes that there are nine other women involved in the case. It also emerged today that both Nick Clegg and David Cameron knew of the accusations. In a statement released...

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QPR plan dream move to White City

The BBC has announced that Television Centre, it's iconic Shepherd's Bush headquarters, is up for sale and QPR are negotiating to purchase the site. The ambitious Premier League football club plan to build a new stadium at White City to accommodat...

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Where are they now? Polari as spoken by Kenneth Williams

"Ooh! Isn't he bold?" as Julian and Sandy would say to "Mr. 'Orne" in the heyday of Polari, or the old British gay slang. Julian and Sandy's use of Polari on the BBC radio comedy "Round the Horne" introduced Polari to a mass audience, identifying them as gay to those in the know. Round the Horne's use of it ultimately led to Polari's near-demise as a means of communication between gay men. I su...

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Barack Obama set for appearance in EastEnders as one of Bianca's one-night stands

In an increasingly complex, interwoven, thoughtful and awe-inspiring (or to give its full technical description, "idiotic") storyline, it was revealed that the absent father of Bianca's mixed-race child Morgan is in fact USA President Barack Obama.

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