Alice Roberts v Miranda Krestovnikoff: Coast Gals Square Up!

Funny story written by Ellis Ian Fields

Wednesday, 1 September 2010

image for Alice Roberts v Miranda Krestovnikoff: Coast Gals Square Up!
At the Coast...

Fans of BBC documentary series Coast are bracing themselves for a bust-up between two of their favourite female presenters.

As we reported last week, fans of presenter Dr Alice Roberts were disappointed that she is keeping her clothes on for her new series Digging For Britain.

Now, some of them are transferring their affections to Coast co-presenter, Miranda Krestovnikoff.

Said Bernard Frot, chairman of an Alice Roberts fan club: "Since the start of the current season of Coast, some of our members have been excited by the presence of Ms Krestovnikoff on the show. She is obviously an exotic presence, what with her Russian aristocratic bearing and name.

"What's more, they believe that with her Slavic lack of inhibitions, she'll probably get them off sooner than Alice, who looks like she might be reluctant.

"Anyway, it's the last episode of Coast tonight, so we'll see if there's any progress with either lass."

Stories of Dr Roberts's fans defecting to the Krestovnikoff camp have been making relations on Coast quite chilly, according to insiders.

"Alice has always seen herself as the Coast queen," said one. "Miranda's growing popularity is making her feel quite threatened. You never see them working on the same location or piece of film."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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