A Woman In Scotland Loses 89 Pounds In Two Weeks On The Sesame Seed Diet
GLASGOW, Scotland - (World Satire) - The United Kingdom's Ta Ta For Now News reports that a chambermaid from Old Kilt, Scotland, says that for the past 17 years she had been 93 pounds overweight. Maddie McTissyfinch, 38, said that her great grandm…
Read full storyPresident Obama Is Considering Running For President In 2024
WASHINGTON, D.C. - (US Satire) - Press Extra reports that President Obama is seriously considering running for president in 2024. The former POTUS, who was one of the most popular, tallest, and good-humored presidents in the history of presidents,…
Read full storyGum is Good and Won’t Grow Aliens in Your Stomach, Maybe
PFfizer (or however you spell it) has put vaccines in gum! For all those bratty kids and their suspicious parents who don’t want to take their medicine … who doesn’t love a stick of gum? This gum is different, however. It sticks so well, that you…
Read full storyAHTATT is Where It’s At
Do you like halftime shows, but hate football? I know I do, so finally there will be a show for me. “All Half-Time All The Time” will show ONLY half time shows. Musicians and weird dancers in weirder costumes flying in wires, driving tanks, showin…
Read full storyJared Gets His Own Black Box TV Show
Jared Kushner has taken a page out of his father-in-law’s book, “Art of the Deal”, and made some deals himself. This summer Jared will star in his own sitcom, “Black Box Secrets”, with an all-star cast of Saudi Arabian actors, plus one Lebanese and o…
Read full storyNRA Amusement Park for Killing Good Fun!
Another mass shooting in America … and the NRA have decided to celebrate! They are currently having a ribbon-cutting ceremony in Kentucky for a brand new NRA Theme Park, called Shooty McGee’s! There, moms and dads and especially the groomed kid…
Read full storyThe Wet Sprocket Valentine Night
Tracy Brassingthwaite, the landlady of the popular Mithering on the Pub The Wet Sprocket has seen a roaring trade in her special Valentine's night event. 'I over-ordered scampi last week' said Tracy 'so I thought as it is Valentine's Night tonight…
Read full storyBrooklyn's Goombalini Crime Family Says Trump Will Not Be Able To Run In 2024 Because Both of His Legs Will Be In a Cast
BROOKLYN - (Satire News) - The Daily Max has just printed that the head of The infamous Goombalini mob family, Salvatore Goombalini, has stated that Don The Con (Trump) will not be able to run for president in the 2024 presidential campaign because h…
Read full storyVice-President Kamala Harris Wins $1 Million On a Super Bowl LVII Bet
WASHINGTON, D.C. - (US Satire) - Alpha Beta News Agency writer Mimosa Sabrosa reports that Vice-President Kamala Harris bet on the Kansas City Chiefs to beat the Philadelphia Eagles in the Super Bowl, and she won $1 million. Miss Sabrosa spoke wit…
Read full storySuper Bowl LVII MVP Patrick Mahomes To Undergo Ankle Replacement Surgery
KANSAS CITY - (Super Bowl Satire) - Sportsapalooza is reporting that the MVP of Super Bowl LVII, Patrick Mahomes will have to undergo surgery. Team physician, Dr. Coronado Hillbrewster said that Patrick will be going in to have ankle replacement s…
Read full storyDaylight Savings Is Way Outdated and It Needs To Be Scrapped
CHICAGO - (Satire News) - Daylight Savings Time (called British Summer Time) in the United Kingdom has been around for a long time...too long of a time according to many experts on time. Two professors at Solid State University in San Antonio, hav…
Read full storyRihanna Sets New Crotch Grabbing Super Bowl Record Hands Down
BILLINGSGATE POST: Does anyone remember when crotch-grabbing was a lost art, especially for pinch-mouth prudes with legs that didn’t meet at a common point? Incidentally, in geometric terms, this type of layout is called an “infinitesimal paralle…
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