Another mass shooting in America … and the NRA have decided to celebrate!
They are currently having a ribbon-cutting ceremony in Kentucky for a brand new NRA Theme Park, called Shooty McGee’s!
There, moms and dads and especially the groomed kids will be able to try out every guns America has ever made – since the USA is the World’s Biggest Arms Manufacturers and Arms Dealers!
Praise the Second Amen! Jesus loves his favourite killers – Americans!
Wanna try Billy the Kid’s gun, or how about those wielded by Jesse James and Annie Oakley? Did Charles Manson or the Son of Sam have guns?
Ever wondered what it’s like to fire a bazooka? Yep, the kind your great grand-pappy kill the Huns with in Doublya-Doublya 2, plus the more modern RPGs used by Isis and the Taliban to kill America soldiers.
What, use the enemy’s gun? Are you kidding? Remember when Putin put a price on the heads of American soldiers, and Trump said, “Meh, okay, whatever, money’s money, gotta make some however you can.”
Lots of target practice on manikins dressed up as hippies, abortion lovers, and Antifa … and just for kicks, every noon there will be a fully automatic shootout using LIVE ROUNDs in the centre of Main Street! Or even sometimes inside the NRA Mall – just like in real life! Might wanna pack your bulletproof jackets – even one for the baby, soooo cute! – or you can buy one in our well-stocked gift shop.
So pack up the kiddies and the AR-15s and head on down to Kentucky – the state with a museum to the Bible and a life-size replica of Noah’s Ark – I’m not kidding about that! – and praise the Gun God in all his splendor – and listen to the constant diatribe about the Second Amendment over our loudspeakers – all day long!
