Manchester United Has Signed Chicharito's Amazing 16-Year-Old Cousin Chicharonsito
MANCHESTER, England - (Satire News) - The Mancunians of Manchester are thrilled as their Red Devils team has just signed one of Mexico's best football players. The striker named Antonio Mercurio Balcazar, is only 16, and he is already regarded as…
Read full storySenator Josh Hawley Sprints To Safety
Senator Josh Hawley was filmed proudly pumping his fist, showing his solidarity with the MAGA mob before the MAGA mob broke into the Capitol building on January 6th. Afterward, Senator Josh Hawley was filmed running through the halls of the Capito…
Read full storyThe Out-of-Control Wildfires In Great Britain Are Now Threatening To Destroy Windsor Castle
WINDSOR, England - (Satire News) - The huge wildfires that have scorched the English countryside are now threatening to destroy the 11th century Windsor Castle. Windsor Castle was originally built by The Silas F. Smillinberger Castle Constructing…
Read full storyPresident Biden Says That Colin Kaepernick Is The Best Sports Advisor In The History of The United States
WASHINGTON, D.C. - (Satire News) - President Biden called up former San Francisco 49ers quarterback Colin Kaepernick, and thanked him for accepting the federal position of national sports advisor. POTUS said that he went out of his way to see that…
Read full storySatan Has Infiltrated PetSmart!
This just in: Satan, the Lord of Darkness and Ayatollah of Rock ‘N Rolla (No, that was the Lord Humongous!) has infiltrated the peace-loving PetSmart chain with its evil rainbow flags! Don’t they know the only rainbow comes from a God named either…
Read full storyQueen Elizabeth Will Travel To Barcelona, Spain To See About Purchasing a 500-Year-Old Moorish Castle
LONDON - (Satire News) - Queen Elizabeth, 96, will be traveling on Royalty 1, the queen's personal 747 jet to visit Barcelona, Spain. She will be accompanied by her son Prince Charles, her best friend Piers Morgan, Len Goodman, and eight Buckingha…
Read full storyElon Musk Wins $47 Million In The Texas State Lottery
AUSTIN - (Satire News) - One of the richest men in the world has just won $47 million in the latest edition of the Texas State Super Lone Star Lottery. Musk who has more money that Europe, Bill Gates, China, Oprah Winfrey, Venezuela, Tom Brady, an…
Read full storyPresident Biden Is Looking Into Having The Right Wing Leaning Supreme Court Scrapped
WASHINGTON, D.C. - (Satire News) - President Biden has stated that he is sick and tired of The Supreme Court acting like it is the fucking law of the land. He noted that 89.3% of the American people would like to see SCOTUS scrapped and replaced w…
Read full storyLondon's The Daily Mail Has Been Purchased By The World’s Largest Corporation Bezos-Musk Inc.
LONDON – (Satire News) – Piers Morgan is reporting that Britain’s mid-market newspaper, The Daily Mail, has just been purchased by the biggest corporation in the entire world Bezos-Musk Inc. Jeff Bezos said that they will be changing the name of t…
Read full storyJosh Hawley: “I Only Ran From the Capitol Riot Because My Daughters Wanted to Go to Cancun”
Washington - Missouri Senator and all-around douchebag Josh Hawley claimed that he ran like a scared rabbit from the January 6th Capitol rioters he had only a few hours earlier given a fist salute because he was “running late to catch a flight to Can…
Read full storyThe New Climate Group 'Have Sex To Save the Planet' Is Growing Rapidly
The new climate Group - 'Have Sex to Save the Planet' is growing by leaps and bounds. It started out in the colleges, but is rapidly spreading among the younger non-college people. It takes place in a nature or lawn area. Tents are set up and, af…
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