Senator Josh Hawley Sprints To Safety

Funny story written by K.C. Bell

Saturday, 23 July 2022

image for Senator Josh Hawley Sprints To Safety
"Out of my way. This baby needs a change."

Senator Josh Hawley was filmed proudly pumping his fist, showing his solidarity with the MAGA mob before the MAGA mob broke into the Capitol building on January 6th.

Afterward, Senator Josh Hawley was filmed running through the halls of the Capitol. He wasn’t running for his life to avoid the same MAGA mob. Yes, later filmed sprinting through the halls and skipping down an escalator, but it wasn’t a cowardly act; the poor guy was just having a bladder moment.

So no one should dismiss him as a coward or as a two-faced hypocrite. A bladder moment is just a natural reaction to the human condition. So, why should he apologize for his sprint and race with the going down escalator?

However, he did look as though he was about to shove the white-haired guy aside.

Maybe The Body Language Guy, Jesus Enrique Rosas, on YouTube can provide an analysis of the sprint/race in support of Hawley’s bladder moment. Was it a run for his life from the MAGA mob? Or was it just a bladder moment?

The Hawley sprint/race will live on in history books, television, and in everyone’s memory forever, and it deserves a 100% explanation.

Indeed, it could also be used as a television commercial for various products from Adidas running shoes, Depends, Kaopectate, and Tums, and set to music from Chariots of Fire, Nessun Dorma from Turandot or Benny Hill.

Also, Senator Josh Hawley may be providing a public service announcement.

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The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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