Kindergartener Expelled for Saying "Maclunkey" to Classmate
Ever since Disney+ became active with a re-released and slightly edited version of the original Star Wars movie, A New Hope, the word “Maclunkey” has become the topic of intense discussion, debate, and emotional turmoil. Suddenly, in the ever-changi...
Read full storyNashville Man Reaches Compromise with Reality
After decades of pushing for better pay and overall conditions, Mike Chapman of Nashville, Tennessee, finally reached an acceptable compromise with reality. “Kind of a laissez faire approach,” said Chapman. “I don’t bother it, and it doesn’t bothe...
Read full storyLiverpool To Be Crowned Premier League Champions Tonight
In an unprecedented, and landmark action in the history of the Football League earlier today, it was announced that Liverpool are to be crowned Premier League champions at midnight tonight, despite nearly half of the season still remaining. The Re...
Read full storyBurned-Out And Profoundly Alcoholic Technical Writer Slowly Ascending Into Heaven After Being Kicked In The Chest By A Horse During Wedding Party Brought Back Down To Earth By God-Damn EMT
Iowa. Although he was peacefully ascending into the bright light of euphoric bliss in the uppermost stretches of the Universe, Gerald Wall, 48, was pulled back down to the cold, harsh, and unforgiving world, last Thursday, by Emergency Medical Techn...
Read full storyDonald Trump Jr. to Take Break from Killing Endangered Animals to Join Iran Battle
Washington - Self-described “Tough as Nails” Rambo wannabe, Donald Trump Jr., will take a hiatus from his hunting trips, leading groups into the wilds and executing endangered animal species with high powered weapons, in order to bravely lead U.S. tr...
Read full storyHarry And Meghan To Do Promotional Work For H&M
Stressed-out royal couple, Prince Harry and his wife Meghan, have announced that, as part of their first foray into the world of work since stepping back from their monarchical duties, they will be signing contracts to do promotional work with clothi...
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