Hospital Porter Drops Box Of COVID-19 Vaccine
As the UK roll-out of COVID-19 vaccinations got underway in London this morning, there was a hiccup almost immediately, when a hospital porter carrying a box containing 200 phials of the lifesaving vaccine stumbled and fell, dropping his load in the…
Read full storyAnti-Vaccine Lout Claims Vaccine Contains Chip
A news report about the UK roll-out of the Coronavirus vaccine in London earlier today, contained what is being described as a "potentially damaging theory", after a long-haired lout said he would be resisting any government orders to be vaccinated b…
Read full storyThe Pussy Grabber Wants To Give Himself A Pardon
The very same guy, Donald Trump, who said he likes to grab a woman by the pussy, “…and you can get away with it because you’re famous…” now wants to issue a Self Pardon. For pussy grabbing? That's old hat! He can get away with pussy-grabbing b…
Read full storyExperience: I fathered two of Boris Johnson's children
That arse Johnson is supposedly a serial shagger, but I gave him a dose of his own medicine. It was several years ago, and it went on for a while. Bozo's wife was mightily pissed off at his never-ending peccadillos, and she wanted to get her own b…
Read full storyMysterious Mirrored Monolith on the Isle of Wight
On Tuesday morning, the residents of Compton were astounded to discover that the Utah monolith had appeared on their beach. The monolith that vanished from Utah, only to appear in Romania, arrived on Tuesday morning, appearing against the World Fa…
Read full storyOde to 2020 called 'Currant Bun!'
(NOT EDITED) 2020 comes to an end, Bob Dylan has sold his musical rights for $300 million bucks, pandemic is still biting our arses, Brexit is pathetic, Man United too, so, here we go!! CURRANT BUN 2020 was not much fun Apres-ski morons in…
Read full storyThe Unbeaten Pittsburgh Steelers Go Down
PITTSBURGH – (Sports Satire) – There was no joy or happiness at Heinz Field, aka Ketchup Stadium, home of the Pittsburgh Steelers, as evidenced by the sad faces on every Steelers fan. Steelers coach, Mike Tomlin, was reportedly so upset that his t…
Read full storyMovie Theater CEOs Desperate For Business Are Now Offering Lap Dances
HOLLYWOOD – (Satire News) – Executives with five major movie theater groups in the United States are stressed-out over the fact that no one is going out to movie theaters. The Herculean 14-Movie Theater Complex, in Cleveland, reported that, last w…
Read full storyPresident Trump Has Become One Big Orange Ball of Stress
LOOSE WOMAN, Georgia – (Satire News) – President Trump, desperate to rake in even more money, spoke before a crowd of 1.3 million maskless supporters (his estimate), in Loose Woman, Georgia. Trump opened up with blatant lie after blatant lie, stat…
Read full storyFive University of Texas Players Test Positive For COVID
AUSTIN - (Sports Satire) - Dottie Bazooka, with Sports Balls Illustrated Magazine has informed her readers that the entire defensive line for the Texas Longhorns are out with the Coronavirus. Longhorns Coach, Tom Herman, said that, at first, the t…
Read full storyLocal Man Comes to the Conclusion that Neighbor is Just Plain Mean
After years of living next door to a man perceived to just have an abrasive sense of humor, a local man has finally determined his neighbor is just plain mean. Mike Mitty, owner of Mighty Mike Mitty Muffallettas, moved in next door to the man he c…
Read full storyThe Wonderful World Of Uninteresting Animals #10: The Moth
Yes, it's Tuesday once more, everyone, and time for the latest instalment in our 'popular' series about uninteresting animals. This week, I've chosen a particularly uninteresting animal: the moth. Moths are exceedingly uninteresting, but this m…
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