Being a Condescending, Self-Righteous, Greedy, Narcissistic Asshole Actually Leads to Happiness, According To Report
Scientists and researchers at the University of Colorado came to the conclusion, Friday, that condescending, self-righteous, narcissistic assholes who judge, criticize, and ridicule those around them actually do find happiness in the long run.
Read full storyStockholm International Airport's Anti-Terrorism Toilets Raise Eyebrows
Those liberal-minded Scandinavians are at it again, and this time it's the Swedes, who have unveiled some rather impersonal toilet facilities to try to prevent terrorist activity at Stockholm airport. The male toilets, which can be seen above, are...
Read full storyMarvel to Release Aunt Man and Uncle Woman
The Marvel Universe is expanding as parent company Disney announced its latest entry, Aunt Man and Uncle Woman. Aunt Man and Uncle Woman are not your typical superheroes. They are crossdressing crusaders who use deception to fool the bad guys.
Read full storyBolsonaro's Business
Brazilian President, Jair Bolsonaro, has cancelled a trip to New York because people plan to protest about what an abhorrent pile of sentient herpes he is. Unable to deal with protestors he can’t just shoot at will, he’s decided to stay the fuck in B...
Read full storyDrug Company Introduces Roundup-Ready Aspirin
Appealing to gardeners and parents alike, an international drug company recently introduced its new "Roundup-ready" baby aspirin, which will not only reduce the risk of clot-related strokes in those who take it, but will also provide protection again...
Read full storyEarly Roll Out of 2020 Nationalist Campaign Ad Sample
While we worry about paying our bills... progressives are spending our hard earned money and looking for new ways to tax us even more! There are just some things that progressives just do not get, like... When patients without money are turned...
Read full storyOur All-Hearing Drones Succeed Once Again! We Eavesdrop On The Latest Trump – Putin Phone Call!
Still undetected by the CIA or the KGB, our seemingly undetectable drones have this time crashed the phone call our feckless leader made to dear,old Uncle Putin the other day. We could analyze it and pre-masticate it before feeding it to you like FOX...
Read full storyAdministrative Assistant Feels He Was Sexually Harassed On First Date
Wisconsin. Sources confirmed Tuesday that Biff Spud, a "new hire" at a city administration building in Door County, Wisconsin, was sexually harassed by Human Resources Director, Jennifer Kriels, 39, on a date they had the previous weekend. The...
Read full storyOnce More, Bill Barr, Undo the Breach in the Mueller Report
From the quill of Nancy Pelosi, [with apologies to Henry V and William Shakespeare.] To Attorney General Barr: Thou should doubt not that your loyal opposition in this House will prevail in our effort to obtain an unredacted copy of the Mueller...
Read full storyJudges: Ohio illegal, at least on paper
A panel of three federal judges weighed in on a, uh, weighty matter, when they ruled, unanimously, that a map of Ohio is “unconstitutional.” Writing for the majority, B. Czaro, who asked to remain anonymous, wrote, “We are convinced that this diag...
Read full storyTime To Dump Trump
How did anyone become so sacrosanct in this democracy that he can't be indicted? And who in the United States decided that a president is above the law? It is clear that Donald Trump obstructed justice by attempting to stop an investigation into...
Read full storyStudent Had "Wholly Inappropriate" Tattoo
A student at a school in Bangkok was seen to have had what has been described as an "inappropriate tattoo", it has been reported. The 13-year-old boy was seen sporting the temporary tattoo sometime back in 2011 or 2012, but I've only just remember...
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