Israelis Argue About How Tall President Trump Is
The Middle East is a melting pot of opinion, and things there got even more opinionated yesterday, when Israelis decided to meet to talk about just how tall US president Donald Trump is. Israeli prime minister, Benjamin Netanyahu, spoke first, and...
Read full storyTrump Giving Alaska Back To Putin
Trump Tweet News: This is a really GIGANTIC offer from another really super leader Vladimir Putin. He's giving me the 2020 election. Since he has the best hackers in the world, Vlady's giving me the 2020 election in return for Alaska. I won’t even ha...
Read full storyJuvenile Newsreader looking forward to saying Johnson and Trump a lot on TV
Local Television celebrity, Gary Johnson from Chutney on the Fritz has claimed that he is really looking forward to the Leadership elections. 'I get paid to say Trump a lot. I don't know if you know this, but Trump is slang for a fart. I will get...
Read full storyDad Secretly Resents Being Expected to Spend Father's Day with His Kids
While Grant Lowell of Newton, Massachusetts, appreciates that there's a special holiday set aside to honor all that he does for his four children, ages six through eleven, he admitted to secretly resenting being expected to spend Father's Day with hi...
Read full storyUber brings service to Havana, Cuba
Uber is taking a significant step this week in its effort to build out its transportation-on-demand business in Havana, Cuba. Cuba is the biggest ride-hailing market in the Caribbean. "We are tired of riding donkeys all day, and Uber came to ou...
Read full storyFrustrated Summer School Student Wishes Doppelganger Would 'Leave Him Alone' So That He Can Routinely Masturbate While Trying To Finish His Courses
Winneshiek County, Iowa. Jonathan Lane, a 21-year-old student at St. Loran University, expressed frustration last Tuesday over the fact that a truculent doppelganger has been causing him to lose focus on his academic progress, while also constantly...
Read full storyPurple Haze Covers Town
Residents in a mid-western town awoke to an unfamiliar tinge to their surroundings yesterday morning, when they found that the whole of the sky from horizon to horizon, from north to south, and from east to west, had been enveloped in what's been des...
Read full storyEurotrash Returns To Screens In Bid To Reverse Brexit Vote
In what is being seen as a last-ditch attempt to usurp democracy, and deny the voting public its victory at the polls, the government has ordered TV reruns of the 1990s show 'Eurotrash', in a bid to change people's minds about Europe. Hosted by th...
Read full story1775: King George Declares American Rebels "Terrorists"
The Times of London. In a tweet this morning, His Majesty King George III denounced the American rebels as terrorists, "the Western Hemisphere's counterpart of Isis, al-Qaeda and the French." His remarks followed arrival of dispatches detailing the r...
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