Dad Secretly Resents Being Expected to Spend Father's Day with His Kids

Funny story written by Chrissy Benson

Sunday, 16 June 2019

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"Maybe when Mother's Day rolls around I'll catch a break," said drained dad Grant Lowell.

While Grant Lowell of Newton, Massachusetts, appreciates that there's a special holiday set aside to honor all that he does for his four children, ages six through eleven, he admitted to secretly resenting being expected to spend Father's Day with his kids.

"Sure, it's nice to be acknowledged for paying the bills, keeping the house in shape, helping the kids with their homework, talking them through their various crisises and temper tantrums, and playing more catch than any grown man who's not a professional baseball player should ever have to play," said the drained dad. "But shouldn't I get a break from all that on what's supposed to be my special day? Honestly, it would be so awesome just to get some time to myself for once.

Time to himself was not what his family had in mind for Grant on Father's Day, however. The day began with a breakfast prepared by his four young children.

"Four pre-teens in the kitchen over a hot stove," said Grant, who made his own coffee while the kids fought over flipping pancakes. "What could possibly go wrong?"

Breakfast was followed by an outing to the park with the family's dog, Chadwick, to play, yes, both human catch and dog catch - an outing which, unfortunately, culminated in strong words between Grant and another dog parent who chastised Grant for letting Chadwick off his leash in an unauthorized area.

And, after the outing in the park, Grant was treated to a special two-and-a-half hour Father's Day concert at his youngest child's preschool.

"The harmonies were incredible," said Grant. "You can't even imagine. I only wished it had lasted three hours."

All told, the Lowell family's Father's Day was deemed a grand success by many, and a justification for hard liquor and contemplation of divorce by one.

"I'm hanging in there for now," said Grant. "Maybe when Mother's Day rolls around I'll catch a break."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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