1775: King George Declares American Rebels "Terrorists"

Written by Ralph E. Shaffer

Sunday, 16 June 2019

The Times of London. In a tweet this morning, His Majesty King George III denounced the American rebels as terrorists, "the Western Hemisphere's counterpart of Isis, al-Qaeda and the French." His remarks followed arrival of dispatches detailing the rebellious action in April at Concord in the Massachusetts colony.

"For far too long we in Great Britain have tolerated the heinous acts of a handful of dissident Americans. Today we were informed that our troops were attacked, without provocation, by colonial terrorists firing their muskets from behind trees, fences and walls, as our men peacefully marched back to Boston from a minor encounter at the Concord bridge.

"One rebel in particular must be watched: John Hancock. There can be no insurance of anything as long as he's around."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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