New York Writer Confident that 2019 Will Bring Life Muse and/or Divine Inspiration
Aspiring writer Noel Underwood of New York City, who waited in vain all of 2018 for literary success to be thrust upon him, is confident that 2019 will be the year that he happens upon his life muse and/or is struck by divine inspiration, finally cau...
Read full storyTrumplovian Dog Slobber Caused By Marmaduke Acid Reflux Syndrome (MARS)
BILLINGSGATE POST: Newsworthy only because it appears to be, this subject might seem to be relevant, even though it’s not. If it were, no one capable of understanding it would read it, especially in this forum. In a much discussed experiment invo...
Read full storySpurs Boss Pochettino To Take Up Barcelona Job
Mauricio Pochettino, the Tottenham Hotspur coach, who has guided his team to their highest position on football's ladder for 140 years, has announced that he is to leave the club, and is Barcelona-bound. He will become a waiter in a top hotel.
Read full storyAt My Age, How Long Will I Live?
A SPOOF OP-ED. The IRS has sent out its latest life expectancy guess, the formula for stealing money from the IRA accounts of those over 70. That's the age at which you must start withdrawing money from your nest egg. Those under 70 merely have to consult the Internet to answer their curiosity about their longevity, and Google's websites are probably more accurate than what IRS uses for senior cit...
Read full storyMan Starts Off New Year As He Means To Go On - By Cleaning His Earholes Out
A new year, and a new beginning were the sentiments expressed by one man this morning, as Tony Chudworth made it his New Year's resolution to clean out his earholes 'more often than in the past'. On paper, this doesn't mean very much. Chudworth ha...
Read full storyOverseas English Teacher Finds A New Way To Be More Expressive and Dynamic
Bradley Johnston, 27, moved to Changwon City, South Korea, after earning his degree in Education. When he started teaching English, however, he began struggling to find ways to get his students more excited about the English language. All too o...
Read full story'Most beautiful girl in the world' awarded royal title of 'most beautiful face'
An ordinary person who once held the rank of the "most beautiful girl", is now getting a royal title for being the "most beautiful face in the world." Julie Nutbanger, the daughter of artist, Patrick Nutbanger, and French fashion designer Veronika...
Read full storyMan Wearing Lederhosen Discovered On Beach
Police and immigration officials were called to a beach in Norfolk this morning, when a man was discovered only half-conscious, and wearing only a pair of lederhosen. He was soaking wet. The location for this momentous event was the seaside villag...
Read full storyNew Study Reports that Grass Really IS Greener on Other Side
While the adage that the grass is always greener on the other side is commonly taken as a psychological misperception that we all most want that which we do not have, a groundbreaking new study from the Niels Bohr Institute of Quantum Physics recentl...
Read full story10 Common Statements That Really Piss Me Off
WARNING: The following material contains offensive language; poor attempts at humor, untimely and inappropriate references to male and female genitalia; extremely long, eccentric, and needless descriptions of things that never really happen to people; a touch of caffeine-fueled intensity; a dose of alcohol-fueled creativity; an infinite load of 'un-called for' and misdirected anger towards things...
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