Written by Dr. Billingsgate

Tuesday, 1 January 2019

image for Trumplovian Dog Slobber Caused By Marmaduke Acid Reflux Syndrome (MARS)
Dog Slobber

BILLINGSGATE POST: Newsworthy only because it appears to be, this subject might seem to be relevant, even though it’s not. If it were, no one capable of understanding it would read it, especially in this forum.

In a much discussed experiment involving classical conditioning done in 1902, Ivan Pavlov wrongly called the the subject dog’s anticipatory salivation "psychic secretion.” Last week, when President Trump dangled his wall before the slobbering Democrats, they chose to close down the government; a response entirely predictable to those who call themselves experts in these matters.

Although this discussion might be more appropriate in a scientific journal, dog slobber is dog slobber, pure and simple. To be scientifically correct, let’s name it for a lovable Great Dane and call it the “Marmaduke Acid Reflux Syndrome” (MARS).

Reversing Pavlov’s theory in a few paragraphs might seem to violate Quasimodo’s Law: A bell in motion will ring only until one stops pulling the rope. The aforementioned law, inexplicably, can only be applied in coordination with the Rope-a-Dope Theory of Governance. Together, though, it makes more sense than not in explaining why Democrats suffer MARS whenever President Trump mentions the wall.

NOTE: Dr. Billingsgate is solely responsible for the content of this story.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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